Bonding With Your Partner
In any given moment in our relationship with our partner, we are in one of two possible intents - the intent to have control over getting love and avoiding pain, and the intent to learn about being loving to ourselves and to others.
Virtually all of us have learned many ways of trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain. We learned these defensive behaviours when we were children, and as adults we unconsciously continue these learned controlling behaviors. For example, we may use anger, criticism, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. For most people, these protective, controlling behaviors have become automatic and habitual. As soon as any fear is triggered, we automatically protect against the fear by arguing, blaming, attacking, judging, shutting down, resisting, or giving in.
In a relationship, if one or both partners are closed, protected, or controlling, then they cannot emotionally connect with each other. No matter how much time they spend together with the typical romantic trappings, like candles, wine or expensive lingerie, the connection will not be there. Ironically, when the intent is to get love or avoid pain, what we create is a lack of love and much pain.
However, if both partners are open to learning, they will be emotionally available to each other, and can bond with a touch, a smile, or a kind word. The big challenge in relationships is to stay open to learning about loving. Because we automatically and unconsciously revert to our protective, controlling behaviour in the face of fear, being open to learning needs to be a conscious choice. Developing the ability to make a conscious choice regarding your intent is a learning process. The hallmark of higher consciousness is being able to choose your intent each and every moment, even in the face of fear.
In your interactions with your partner, do you always seek to be right? Do you strive to protect your own feelings rather than risk opening your heart? Do you have the courage to swallow your pride in order to avoid an argument? Do you listen and seek to understand instead of talking all the time?
When relationship partners are both able to reliably choose to be open to learning about loving themselves and each other, they create a sweet and safe environment for their love to flourish. Candles, flowers, vacations, and so on are simply icing on the cake.
A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit it to 'Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
My crazy and weird family
Think my whole family is mad. My mum is crazy cos she's at woodbridge (I meant working there - wat were you thinking????). My brother is crazy cos he is my brother. I am crazy cos I am AH BER. And my dad is the craziest of them all i think...... cos he eats noodles with......
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THIS....
This is supposed to be a snack.... but he's eating it with noodles!!! Weird la.... He eats popiah by using the lettuce to wrap the ingredients and not the popiah skin. And he drinks red wine with 7-up and ICE..... ??????
I do have a weird family I admit, cos I AM CRAZY TOO and I'm loving it....
And now I tok like an indian.... thanks to my other crazy family...
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Rants
Its crazy. I think I am becoming malaysian. From Wed till sat, I have passport entries to JB EVERY SINGLE DAY.....
I had a talk with Mr Woody Kenji on sat for 2 hours. We jus sat in the car from 11pm to 1am talking. And I have decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and give him one more chance and forgive him for lying. All because I realised I loved him. Although I dun agree with few of his stunts and the way he does things sometimes, we both know we love each other. And that is important. We dun wan to give up this relationship we had cos we didnt come thru very easily. We came thru a long way and we decided that we should rough it out and try to keep this going.
Definately not a case of remaining for the sake of remaining. Definately not a case of "wasted time and efforts". Definately not a case where we are together for habit. Definately not a case of scared of losing out.
Time will prove everything.
So we are an item again. So the people who hoped we would really break up for good, shoo.... the people who are happy that we are together again..... we love you too....
Suddenly I have many things I wished I could do.
1) Go for a break (BKK, HK, Batam, KL, Sunway, Genting..... Australia sounded good too)
2) Get a new lappy.
3) Get a new CAR.
4) Secret.
5) Secret.
6) Secret.
7) Secret.
Hahahaha..... I am very tired and crazy these few days....
I had a talk with Mr Woody Kenji on sat for 2 hours. We jus sat in the car from 11pm to 1am talking. And I have decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and give him one more chance and forgive him for lying. All because I realised I loved him. Although I dun agree with few of his stunts and the way he does things sometimes, we both know we love each other. And that is important. We dun wan to give up this relationship we had cos we didnt come thru very easily. We came thru a long way and we decided that we should rough it out and try to keep this going.
Definately not a case of remaining for the sake of remaining. Definately not a case of "wasted time and efforts". Definately not a case where we are together for habit. Definately not a case of scared of losing out.
Time will prove everything.
So we are an item again. So the people who hoped we would really break up for good, shoo.... the people who are happy that we are together again..... we love you too....
Suddenly I have many things I wished I could do.
1) Go for a break (BKK, HK, Batam, KL, Sunway, Genting..... Australia sounded good too)
2) Get a new lappy.
3) Get a new CAR.
4) Secret.
5) Secret.
6) Secret.
7) Secret.
Hahahaha..... I am very tired and crazy these few days....
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Funny Video
Got this from Xiaxue's bloggy. Really very funny and its got my name in it (by accident ok).... hahahahaha...
This guy Buffalax is very talented and he sub-titles the original movies with english subtitles and there is absolutely no translation.... I really wonder how he manage to listen to the english words in the movies.... really cool.....
There's a japanese transformers also... Shit! I knew your son...
This guy Buffalax is very talented and he sub-titles the original movies with english subtitles and there is absolutely no translation.... I really wonder how he manage to listen to the english words in the movies.... really cool.....
There's a japanese transformers also... Shit! I knew your son...
Friday, October 26, 2007
CAR TROUBLE IN JB....
I really cannot believe my luck. Wed I went into Malaysia to go to Kota Tinggi. Thu (yesterday), I went in again to go to the Pasar Malam @ Danga Bay. We went in with 2 cars cos Michelle (D & Jakes' sister) went with us.
We went to City Square to have food at the Food Junction and I had my favourite MALAY FOOD.... All of my favourite dishes.... Nasi Campur I LOVE YOU..... After lunch (or tea-time) @ 3plus, we walked around City Square and went to service Jake's car along the Pelangi Plaza..... WHEN MY CAR BROKE DOWN.
Yup, it jus stalled while it was cruising.... luckily i was at the side of the road and there was a slip where I parked there while checking it out. Tortilla jus wouldn't start again. It was 9plus and ALL the mechanic workshops were CLOSED. How wonderful.....
We made our calls and everyone tried to call anyone they think would know of something we could use to help.... Even Lena and kenji tried to help from Singapore.
We had a few choices. 1)Tow to workshop in JB. 2)Tow back to SG. 3) Stay around in some hotel and settle the car the next morn. We called lots of people and asked so many questions that they didnt wan to PROVIDE US SERVICE, but tortilla HAS to move away cos like sooooooooo many people know that he was there.....
Finally, we towed tortilla to a workshop tat was around the corner. It was quite brightly lit and there was a security guard around. Ok. I happily paid the RM80 cos it was a bargain..... then we proceeded back to Danga Bay for shopping at the Pasar Malam. YES, I AM MAD..... I was quite sad to leave tortilla there but I had no choice, if he was as small as junior i'll make sure I carry him home but he's too big......
We shopped for a while only cos it was 1am and the shops were mostly closed and the best thing was, it was the last day for the Pasar Malam and we MADE IT...... ahhahahahaha.......
After our Danga Bay adventure, we made our way to have food.... We Ta bao KFC - YEAH...... There's this 24hours KFC at Komtar.......
We reached home at 3am..... and we watched house while we ate our food.... then i really knocked out till this morn 7am, dozed back to sleep till 9am when my student called to cancel class (AHAHAHAHAHAHA), then at 9.05am, I drove in to JB with jakes using Sabrina.
We reached around 10am and got Tortilla fixed. Luckily tortilla's 4 wheels were still intact and my windows are still ok and he was still the same old tortilla. I half expected to turn up and find tortilla GONE.....
By 1.15pm, Tortilla was fixed and we went to carwash tortilla and Sabrina. Jakes was soooooo satisfied with the car wash that he wanted to go again sometime...... After our car wash and top up of petrol, I RUSHED back to bradel to get my other work phone and zoomed to class at 2.45pm..... superwoman rite..... hahahahaha
And tortilla's damage caused me RM 500. Luckily I broke down in JB, or else I might have to pay $500 instead of RM500..... THANK GOD.....
It was a real adventure...
Now ah ber is soooooooo tired that junior is helping me post this entry.....zzzzzzzzz
We went to City Square to have food at the Food Junction and I had my favourite MALAY FOOD.... All of my favourite dishes.... Nasi Campur I LOVE YOU..... After lunch (or tea-time) @ 3plus, we walked around City Square and went to service Jake's car along the Pelangi Plaza..... WHEN MY CAR BROKE DOWN.
Yup, it jus stalled while it was cruising.... luckily i was at the side of the road and there was a slip where I parked there while checking it out. Tortilla jus wouldn't start again. It was 9plus and ALL the mechanic workshops were CLOSED. How wonderful.....
We made our calls and everyone tried to call anyone they think would know of something we could use to help.... Even Lena and kenji tried to help from Singapore.
We had a few choices. 1)Tow to workshop in JB. 2)Tow back to SG. 3) Stay around in some hotel and settle the car the next morn. We called lots of people and asked so many questions that they didnt wan to PROVIDE US SERVICE, but tortilla HAS to move away cos like sooooooooo many people know that he was there.....
Finally, we towed tortilla to a workshop tat was around the corner. It was quite brightly lit and there was a security guard around. Ok. I happily paid the RM80 cos it was a bargain..... then we proceeded back to Danga Bay for shopping at the Pasar Malam. YES, I AM MAD..... I was quite sad to leave tortilla there but I had no choice, if he was as small as junior i'll make sure I carry him home but he's too big......
We shopped for a while only cos it was 1am and the shops were mostly closed and the best thing was, it was the last day for the Pasar Malam and we MADE IT...... ahhahahahaha.......
After our Danga Bay adventure, we made our way to have food.... We Ta bao KFC - YEAH...... There's this 24hours KFC at Komtar.......
We reached home at 3am..... and we watched house while we ate our food.... then i really knocked out till this morn 7am, dozed back to sleep till 9am when my student called to cancel class (AHAHAHAHAHAHA), then at 9.05am, I drove in to JB with jakes using Sabrina.
We reached around 10am and got Tortilla fixed. Luckily tortilla's 4 wheels were still intact and my windows are still ok and he was still the same old tortilla. I half expected to turn up and find tortilla GONE.....
By 1.15pm, Tortilla was fixed and we went to carwash tortilla and Sabrina. Jakes was soooooo satisfied with the car wash that he wanted to go again sometime...... After our car wash and top up of petrol, I RUSHED back to bradel to get my other work phone and zoomed to class at 2.45pm..... superwoman rite..... hahahahaha
And tortilla's damage caused me RM 500. Luckily I broke down in JB, or else I might have to pay $500 instead of RM500..... THANK GOD.....
It was a real adventure...
Now ah ber is soooooooo tired that junior is helping me post this entry.....zzzzzzzzz
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Kota Tinggi & Danga Bay
Yesterday was a cool day!!! Cos on impluse, the devadasons decided to go to Kota Tinggi to enjoy the waterfall there.... YEAH!!!!
We packed food and left ard 2plus to meet adam near mandai. Then the 2 cars went in. I didnt drive tortilla, Jakes drove his sabrina there. So the 3 children, mummy, jakes and me were in sabrina and D and adam were in Adam's car....
Along the way me and Jared were having a competition to while away our time in the car..... bubble gum competition.... I love bubble gum and chewing gum - God, I sound like a deprived kid......
We drove straight to Kota Tinggi (About 1.5hours drive) and I was soooooooo disappointed. Cos last time when I was young (maybe 12 years ago), my parents brought me there and the waterfall still looked the same, except the pools and the surroundings were sooooooo commercialised now.
We even had to pay to go into the waterfall..... WAT???? RM9 for adults and RM5 for children and RM 5 for a car..... luckily we met a nice kawan we gave us a discount..... and we also rented 3 tubes for the children (especially me) to go on the 2 slides there.
The nature was spoilt by the slides, the artificial surroundings and I suspect some of the rocks there are fake too..... there were a bit of fishes only, which swam so fast that I couldn't get..... and the waterfall pool was filled with huge rocks that even I had difficulty getting to the waterfall.....
But mummy and I had a good time relaxing by the smaller waterfalls and we soaked ourselves in some of the smaller pools.
Being adventurous, I took the lead to climb up to a smaller waterfall where there was a small pool and a huge gush of water falling.... alas, I didnt have enough courage so D and the boys took over the lead and pulled me up..... and boy, I enjoyed myself really alot...... except the fact that the suction of the falls were quite strong and I was sucked and got stuck at the part where the water was supposed to fall......
I got stuck at the waterfall
After our waterfall day, we went to Danga Bay Clock Tower for dinner. We ordered sooooo much food that I was happily eating that I totally forgot to take pictures. We had Sambal Cockles, Sambal Baby squids, Sambal Kangkong, Kai Lan, 2 plates of Sting ray, Butter prawns, Tom Yum Soup, Chicken Rice and drinks.....
After our dinner, we proceeded to Danga Bay and WOOHOO.... there was a children's funfair and pasar malam. Of cos I went mad lor..... I went to play the game stalls and I won 3 stickers and 1 blue pencil set. Then mummy gave me 2 stickers and I changed a blue carebear with 5 stickers.... YEAH....
We (the children + me) also went on some rides together with mummy....
In the end, we went home around midnite...... and the guys still had energy to go drinking..... I jus knocked out.....
We packed food and left ard 2plus to meet adam near mandai. Then the 2 cars went in. I didnt drive tortilla, Jakes drove his sabrina there. So the 3 children, mummy, jakes and me were in sabrina and D and adam were in Adam's car....
Along the way me and Jared were having a competition to while away our time in the car..... bubble gum competition.... I love bubble gum and chewing gum - God, I sound like a deprived kid......
We drove straight to Kota Tinggi (About 1.5hours drive) and I was soooooooo disappointed. Cos last time when I was young (maybe 12 years ago), my parents brought me there and the waterfall still looked the same, except the pools and the surroundings were sooooooo commercialised now.
We even had to pay to go into the waterfall..... WAT???? RM9 for adults and RM5 for children and RM 5 for a car..... luckily we met a nice kawan we gave us a discount..... and we also rented 3 tubes for the children (especially me) to go on the 2 slides there.
The nature was spoilt by the slides, the artificial surroundings and I suspect some of the rocks there are fake too..... there were a bit of fishes only, which swam so fast that I couldn't get..... and the waterfall pool was filled with huge rocks that even I had difficulty getting to the waterfall.....
But mummy and I had a good time relaxing by the smaller waterfalls and we soaked ourselves in some of the smaller pools.
Being adventurous, I took the lead to climb up to a smaller waterfall where there was a small pool and a huge gush of water falling.... alas, I didnt have enough courage so D and the boys took over the lead and pulled me up..... and boy, I enjoyed myself really alot...... except the fact that the suction of the falls were quite strong and I was sucked and got stuck at the part where the water was supposed to fall......
I got stuck at the waterfall
After our dinner, we proceeded to Danga Bay and WOOHOO.... there was a children's funfair and pasar malam. Of cos I went mad lor..... I went to play the game stalls and I won 3 stickers and 1 blue pencil set. Then mummy gave me 2 stickers and I changed a blue carebear with 5 stickers.... YEAH....
We (the children + me) also went on some rides together with mummy....
In the end, we went home around midnite...... and the guys still had energy to go drinking..... I jus knocked out.....
Monday, October 22, 2007
Internal struggle
There are so much for me to think about. There's an internal struggle going on inside me..... like fighting a war between things I dun like to do and things I have to do...
I prided myself in knowing him quite well. In fact, we are very similiar in character and almost everything except he is a MAN. And I know MAN very well too I guess.... Ok, actually I dun. A part of me really wan to believe in him, but my other part of me questions everything.
Illogical part
This part of me is definately not my mind, its my heart. If without my mind, I guess my heart will jus go to him and believe in everything he said. But too bad, my mind is stopping the heart from being stupid.... cos the heart is soft while the mind can be hard.
I realised that I do love him after 2 years together and he is still the one I wan. I can choose to believe that he really cocked up. And believe that he is the one that I am sure he is. And that he deserves a 2nd chance and I deserve a 2nd chance with him and 2nd chance for myself.
We have come thru so much, there should be reasons why we should still be together. And since we started neither of us wanted this to stop till the end.... BUT....
Logical Part
There are still so many questions in my mind, which is the logical part of me that questions everything. And many questions for the future as well. It is true that no matter who my next bf is, if I basically dun trust MAN then my next r/s will be a disaster too, unless he is able to prove to me with his sincerity and really win me over with trust....
Is he still the same guy I know 2 years back or is he jus a MAN? There are so many question marks in my head, can the logical me erase them and trust him based on trust and love? Was wat I saw and heard really wat they were, and were they really wat they were? And wat if there was still more to it?
Can I really give him a 2nd chance and live with this incident between us? Can I really trust him again? Will there be more cover-ups in future because everyone knows I am hyper sensitive? If another threat comes along, will they have already learnt how to wipe their mouth after being greedy? (haha)
I guess I am very inferior of myself. If I were confident of myself, no one can shake my confidence rite? Will everything be the same again (definately not)? Will we make it or break it if we continue?
See the internal struggle between my logical and illogical side? Actually no one knows wat will happen if we continue. And I have always been telling people, you wun know until you try, but somehow I dunno how to apply to myself.... heehee.... Guess I AM A SCARDY CAT LIKE MY SON....
Ultimately I know the people concerned about us, their only concern is about our happiness. People who really love us, will only care if we are happy or not, with or without each other. They dun really bother if we are with or without each other, as long as we are happy, i'm sure they are contented.
My mum told me, better think carefully. Dun end up in divorce again. I told her, divorce is not a big issue. But wat I didnt tell her, is that I might not be able to pick myself up and rebuild my confidence, trust, love, care, courage, belief foundation again......
我不是每次失恋后都能重新再来 - YEAH. I can finally sing 被爱的女人 to the end without breaking my voice (a bit la).... but only kelly's version ok... coco lee one too high already....
So, I am still seriously thinking of the stuff he has been telling me since today.....
I prided myself in knowing him quite well. In fact, we are very similiar in character and almost everything except he is a MAN. And I know MAN very well too I guess.... Ok, actually I dun. A part of me really wan to believe in him, but my other part of me questions everything.
Illogical part
This part of me is definately not my mind, its my heart. If without my mind, I guess my heart will jus go to him and believe in everything he said. But too bad, my mind is stopping the heart from being stupid.... cos the heart is soft while the mind can be hard.
I realised that I do love him after 2 years together and he is still the one I wan. I can choose to believe that he really cocked up. And believe that he is the one that I am sure he is. And that he deserves a 2nd chance and I deserve a 2nd chance with him and 2nd chance for myself.
We have come thru so much, there should be reasons why we should still be together. And since we started neither of us wanted this to stop till the end.... BUT....
Logical Part
There are still so many questions in my mind, which is the logical part of me that questions everything. And many questions for the future as well. It is true that no matter who my next bf is, if I basically dun trust MAN then my next r/s will be a disaster too, unless he is able to prove to me with his sincerity and really win me over with trust....
Is he still the same guy I know 2 years back or is he jus a MAN? There are so many question marks in my head, can the logical me erase them and trust him based on trust and love? Was wat I saw and heard really wat they were, and were they really wat they were? And wat if there was still more to it?
Can I really give him a 2nd chance and live with this incident between us? Can I really trust him again? Will there be more cover-ups in future because everyone knows I am hyper sensitive? If another threat comes along, will they have already learnt how to wipe their mouth after being greedy? (haha)
I guess I am very inferior of myself. If I were confident of myself, no one can shake my confidence rite? Will everything be the same again (definately not)? Will we make it or break it if we continue?
See the internal struggle between my logical and illogical side? Actually no one knows wat will happen if we continue. And I have always been telling people, you wun know until you try, but somehow I dunno how to apply to myself.... heehee.... Guess I AM A SCARDY CAT LIKE MY SON....
Ultimately I know the people concerned about us, their only concern is about our happiness. People who really love us, will only care if we are happy or not, with or without each other. They dun really bother if we are with or without each other, as long as we are happy, i'm sure they are contented.
My mum told me, better think carefully. Dun end up in divorce again. I told her, divorce is not a big issue. But wat I didnt tell her, is that I might not be able to pick myself up and rebuild my confidence, trust, love, care, courage, belief foundation again......
我不是每次失恋后都能重新再来 - YEAH. I can finally sing 被爱的女人 to the end without breaking my voice (a bit la).... but only kelly's version ok... coco lee one too high already....
So, I am still seriously thinking of the stuff he has been telling me since today.....
Sunday, October 21, 2007
My brother's birthday 211007
Today my family and I had dinner at AMK St 22 Blk 232 - Mellben Seafood Restaurant. 4 years back when I went with Wai and his family to eat there, the food was quite nice. But today the food wasn't very good. My aunts still preferred Hua You Yuan's crabs.....
Today we had 9 people sitting at the table, including our new family member Ms Chun Mei. She is my brother's gf. And I dun think she is pregnant. I think she is jus someone that made my brother wan to settle down with.... cos she is mature (like me AHEM.....) and she is outspoken and she is jus nice for him......
I never saw my brother so lovey dovey to anyone before.... but tonite I can sense his love for her..... cos he dish out food for her, sweet talked with her and appeared very close and nice with her..... I think this is also the 1st time he actually took money out from his wallet to pay for something for the family..... my aunts were quite surprised and amazed that he actually paid for his own birthday dinner..... hmmmmm..... cool rite.... Love can really change a person.
He called me the whole of fri..... wanting to talk and wanting to start all over again..... But I refuse to pick up, then the phone went silent for 2 days, till an hour ago he smsed me..... hmmmm..... he asked me to think over, and said we are ok one.... wat it means ah? Can I still trust him? Will my hyper sensitivity ever surface again? Will there be more lies? There are many things I need to consider.....
But now everything else is not important.....
This is important.... today I brought my students and mummy and the 3 kids to pet mart. I went over to Ethans Pet Resort to get Junior's nails done..... and I SAW>>>>>>>>> another female chihuahua..... 2 mths old, brown coloured with white socks on her feet and she has a black stripe across her back....... she looked jus like a baby deer..... and I HAVE DECIDED I WAN HER......
I am going to name her bambi bubble gum cos she is soooooooo cute.... Who can sponsor her for me? You can be her godma or godpa..... I may even give you a kiss or marry you and let you be her daddy........ She costs 1.6k...... HEY, WHERE DID EVERYONE GO...... ok.... sponsor half la..... DUN RUN AWAY LEH..... :(
Ok la, pictures time....
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The sea cucumber is shitty, cos its like DYED bright orange. I tot they were tomatoes..... And the crabby is solid, but not very fantastic lor..... sigh...... the kangkong like very big pieces, not delicately prepared, the tofu is quite ok, but so so only. The mee is DAMN SALTY, the mixed veg so so also, the prawn not very interesting, the fish lose out to the one in bedok (chai poh fish) and I didnt eat the buns but I think should be ok la.....
Today we had 9 people sitting at the table, including our new family member Ms Chun Mei. She is my brother's gf. And I dun think she is pregnant. I think she is jus someone that made my brother wan to settle down with.... cos she is mature (like me AHEM.....) and she is outspoken and she is jus nice for him......
I never saw my brother so lovey dovey to anyone before.... but tonite I can sense his love for her..... cos he dish out food for her, sweet talked with her and appeared very close and nice with her..... I think this is also the 1st time he actually took money out from his wallet to pay for something for the family..... my aunts were quite surprised and amazed that he actually paid for his own birthday dinner..... hmmmmm..... cool rite.... Love can really change a person.
He called me the whole of fri..... wanting to talk and wanting to start all over again..... But I refuse to pick up, then the phone went silent for 2 days, till an hour ago he smsed me..... hmmmm..... he asked me to think over, and said we are ok one.... wat it means ah? Can I still trust him? Will my hyper sensitivity ever surface again? Will there be more lies? There are many things I need to consider.....
But now everything else is not important.....
This is important.... today I brought my students and mummy and the 3 kids to pet mart. I went over to Ethans Pet Resort to get Junior's nails done..... and I SAW>>>>>>>>> another female chihuahua..... 2 mths old, brown coloured with white socks on her feet and she has a black stripe across her back....... she looked jus like a baby deer..... and I HAVE DECIDED I WAN HER......
I am going to name her bambi bubble gum cos she is soooooooo cute.... Who can sponsor her for me? You can be her godma or godpa..... I may even give you a kiss or marry you and let you be her daddy........ She costs 1.6k...... HEY, WHERE DID EVERYONE GO...... ok.... sponsor half la..... DUN RUN AWAY LEH..... :(
Ok la, pictures time....
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The sea cucumber is shitty, cos its like DYED bright orange. I tot they were tomatoes..... And the crabby is solid, but not very fantastic lor..... sigh...... the kangkong like very big pieces, not delicately prepared, the tofu is quite ok, but so so only. The mee is DAMN SALTY, the mixed veg so so also, the prawn not very interesting, the fish lose out to the one in bedok (chai poh fish) and I didnt eat the buns but I think should be ok la.....
AND IT IS EX...... 250 for a meal like tat..... my poor bro must have burnt a hole in his pocket....
Saturday, October 20, 2007
My brother is mad
Either my brother is mad, or his gf is pregnant or he really wants to get married. Cos he's asking around the prices of flats and I think he is better informed than a property agent like me. He is even asking my aunty about her unit at SengKang and wants to buy over her unit if its worth it (+30k 1st timers grant). Either that or he wants to buy a unit around my place and get the grant of 40k (1st timers + near parents)
I never tot my brother would wan to settle down cos he is always so bo chap and weird. He has his fair share of gfs and of cos this one with the mini pinscher is obviously one of the best ones.... and I'm sure junior wouldn't mind a cousin to hump and its ok cos she is sterilised already..... hhaahahhaa....
Today I'm going for the movie "brothers" and later going to pick my aunty from airport. She's coming back at 1am.... pathetic rite.... I am quite tired.... in fact feeling dead, but bo bian.....
PS: Give it 3 days and there will be someone new in a few months....This time round, not even 3 days..... giving up seemed so easy for you.....
I never tot my brother would wan to settle down cos he is always so bo chap and weird. He has his fair share of gfs and of cos this one with the mini pinscher is obviously one of the best ones.... and I'm sure junior wouldn't mind a cousin to hump and its ok cos she is sterilised already..... hhaahahhaa....
Today I'm going for the movie "brothers" and later going to pick my aunty from airport. She's coming back at 1am.... pathetic rite.... I am quite tired.... in fact feeling dead, but bo bian.....
PS: Give it 3 days and there will be someone new in a few months....This time round, not even 3 days..... giving up seemed so easy for you.....
Friday, October 19, 2007
My point of view
I have thought things thru and summarised everything. I have heard news, rumours, truth and lies from different parties. This is the following I have summarised and watever that is written here, are my own views and not others' views and I am perfectly sober when I am typing this.
I believe this is my blog and I have my rights to express myself. If anyone of you not happy about this, although I know some of you will be uncomfortable and might be unhappy, I am sorry I dun mean to hurt anyone but I jus need to make myself heard.
13/10/07 - 7.45pm - he told me his army friends asked him out for drinks and he was not sure to go or not. I told him to go cos its good to have friends. He said he'll see how.
13/10/07 - 11.26pm - he said he was at Changi Village when I saw his car at Novena.
Lie No.1) At Changi Village when his car is at Novena.
13/10/07 - 11.40pm - I saw him and her singing inside the bar.
13/10/07 - 11.45pm - he told me they were really at Changi Village and they jus came here. I showed him the sms that told me that he was at Changi Village talking about their tekong days and how they missed Tekong and they might still wan to eat Nasi Lemak later......
He changed story to say actually they were there at Novena very early and only wanted to finish the bottle of liquor. He even asked me to go in and look at the bottle to prove that he didnt come since the last time he opened the bottle - only to prove that he went alone, cos he was high and if his army friends went with him, the bottle would be finished already.
Lie No.2) Army friends and him jus reached, but I only saw him.
Lie No.3) Actually they came very early to Novena - The bottle should have been finished cos his army friends would drink too.... but I dun see anyone.
He said I was sensitive that was why he lied. Why was I sensitive? There were so many colleagues and gals around him..... why am I only sensitive about her? And since he knew I was sensitive about her, shouldn't he avoid any misunderstandings by staying away? She also knew I was sensitive about her, but she didnt stay away as well. In fact she was the one who sent the sms to him inviting him down. And he went.
Lie No.4) He wanted to practice a song for me - in fact he was there to finish the bottle, and practicing song for me was not planned at all.... because he didnt go because he wanted to practice song, he went because of the sms she sent to ask him to finish his bottle....
15/10/07 - 9am - I requested to break up and updated my blog on wat happened. He asked if there was any space for negotiations, I said no, cos its gonna be lies again. He tried to explain via MSN, but it was not an explanation at all because I didnt understand the things he was trying to tell me. He said he trust my decision.
17/10/07 - 1.45pm - he sent an email to his friends, colleagues and everyone except me to explain himself. Only today did he explain why he lied in the 1st place. He had to take 3 days to think of an excuse to bring himself out of shit that he fell in. Before sending the email, he made no attempts to explain himself to me, making me think that he was more concerned about how his friends would think of him then my feelings.
He lied so many times, how would i be sure that the proposal was not a fake one? How can I be sure that it was not another lie to make him look better and it was not another lie to cover his own ass?
He would rather lie than to tell the truth. He would rather break the relationship than to break the surprise. I sincerely believe that there was nothing between him and her. I even apologised to her for causing her distress. And I am also sorry I had to bring this up now but it was not your fault. He let himself fall. He chose this path. He allowed himself to forget about my feelings when he replied that sms from you - by turning up in person. There was never an intention to practice the song because if he had me in his heart, he would have tot of going elsewhere and going with someone else (there is something called the analog key for KTVs). He argued that he didnt think that going to a KTV alone would be ideal..... so testing my sensitivity and my limits are ideal????
And that nite 13/10/07 when he finally left the place, it was 4am and he was so drunk that she had to help him back home...... wat does this tell you? It told me that he doesnt bother about my feelings. Even when I am angry and upset, he still went ahead with his enjoyment. He didnt think that maybe going home earlier would be a better idea and keeping his head clear the next morn to explain things would be a better idea......
Mentally I guess he already betrayed me. Now he's asking me wat i wan. Tell me, wat else can I wan?
I believe this is my blog and I have my rights to express myself. If anyone of you not happy about this, although I know some of you will be uncomfortable and might be unhappy, I am sorry I dun mean to hurt anyone but I jus need to make myself heard.
13/10/07 - 7.45pm - he told me his army friends asked him out for drinks and he was not sure to go or not. I told him to go cos its good to have friends. He said he'll see how.
13/10/07 - 11.26pm - he said he was at Changi Village when I saw his car at Novena.
Lie No.1) At Changi Village when his car is at Novena.
13/10/07 - 11.40pm - I saw him and her singing inside the bar.
13/10/07 - 11.45pm - he told me they were really at Changi Village and they jus came here. I showed him the sms that told me that he was at Changi Village talking about their tekong days and how they missed Tekong and they might still wan to eat Nasi Lemak later......
He changed story to say actually they were there at Novena very early and only wanted to finish the bottle of liquor. He even asked me to go in and look at the bottle to prove that he didnt come since the last time he opened the bottle - only to prove that he went alone, cos he was high and if his army friends went with him, the bottle would be finished already.
Lie No.2) Army friends and him jus reached, but I only saw him.
Lie No.3) Actually they came very early to Novena - The bottle should have been finished cos his army friends would drink too.... but I dun see anyone.
He said I was sensitive that was why he lied. Why was I sensitive? There were so many colleagues and gals around him..... why am I only sensitive about her? And since he knew I was sensitive about her, shouldn't he avoid any misunderstandings by staying away? She also knew I was sensitive about her, but she didnt stay away as well. In fact she was the one who sent the sms to him inviting him down. And he went.
Lie No.4) He wanted to practice a song for me - in fact he was there to finish the bottle, and practicing song for me was not planned at all.... because he didnt go because he wanted to practice song, he went because of the sms she sent to ask him to finish his bottle....
15/10/07 - 9am - I requested to break up and updated my blog on wat happened. He asked if there was any space for negotiations, I said no, cos its gonna be lies again. He tried to explain via MSN, but it was not an explanation at all because I didnt understand the things he was trying to tell me. He said he trust my decision.
17/10/07 - 1.45pm - he sent an email to his friends, colleagues and everyone except me to explain himself. Only today did he explain why he lied in the 1st place. He had to take 3 days to think of an excuse to bring himself out of shit that he fell in. Before sending the email, he made no attempts to explain himself to me, making me think that he was more concerned about how his friends would think of him then my feelings.
He lied so many times, how would i be sure that the proposal was not a fake one? How can I be sure that it was not another lie to make him look better and it was not another lie to cover his own ass?
He would rather lie than to tell the truth. He would rather break the relationship than to break the surprise. I sincerely believe that there was nothing between him and her. I even apologised to her for causing her distress. And I am also sorry I had to bring this up now but it was not your fault. He let himself fall. He chose this path. He allowed himself to forget about my feelings when he replied that sms from you - by turning up in person. There was never an intention to practice the song because if he had me in his heart, he would have tot of going elsewhere and going with someone else (there is something called the analog key for KTVs). He argued that he didnt think that going to a KTV alone would be ideal..... so testing my sensitivity and my limits are ideal????
And that nite 13/10/07 when he finally left the place, it was 4am and he was so drunk that she had to help him back home...... wat does this tell you? It told me that he doesnt bother about my feelings. Even when I am angry and upset, he still went ahead with his enjoyment. He didnt think that maybe going home earlier would be a better idea and keeping his head clear the next morn to explain things would be a better idea......
Mentally I guess he already betrayed me. Now he's asking me wat i wan. Tell me, wat else can I wan?
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Thank you for making me realise
Coming 30th November 2007, he had a goal. He wanted to propose to me. But that goal will never make it, because I crushed everything. He sent an email out to his friends and band of brothers and colleagues thanking them for their support and explaining himself. But he didnt explain to me.
To you people out there, its making you feel guilt-free and making him look like he's a saint cos he's explaining himself and he's the victim of a foil-up disaster done by ME.
To me, he is more concerned about wat people think about him than wat I feel or think, because if he was more concerned about me, I should get an email 1st.
Maybe your argument was that I was fuming mad so I wouldn't listen to anything. BUT, I didnt block him on MSN, I didnt cancel him from friendster, I didnt delete myself from multiply, I didnt stop him from contacting me via MSN, email, mobile phone 9008XXXX or 9070XXXX, or house phone 6284XXXX. Wat does that tell you? That I am that same bitch who demands everything and I am that devil who is over-reacting and making him miserable now.....? Or am I jus a hopeful gal who got disappointed over and over again?
In fact I checked my emails @ yahoo and Outlook express everyday diligently..... a few times each hour and hundreds of times each day..... and in the end I received news that he sent an email to everyone except me....
I only needed a hug. I only needed you to tell me that you love me. I only needed the simple truth. I am only a simple gal. I need love and care and love and concern jus like every single gal out there. I purposely reserve my sunday afternoons for you, only to wait in vain for you to ask me out. I have my little gal dreams and I still dream. Why cant my dreams jus come true?
Do I come across as a demanding gal? Am I really unreasonable and always wan to have the last say? Why cant anyone put themselves in my shoes and think for me?
Wat happened to the beginnings? Wat happened to the passion? Wat happened to the things you promised? The promise that you would spend more time with me, the promise you will bring me and my son out? The promise that our love will be the envy for all and our love is a song that we will sing forever? So you believed that giving me a status and reached your goal, you do not need to focus on the process. I will not be at the finishing line, because along the way, you lost me.....
You lost me because you stopped loving, because you stopped feeling for me, because you stopped thinking about me, because you forgot about me, because you didnt pay enough attention to me, because you didnt have enough time with me to understand me...... You didnt know me at all.
Everything jus felt so different. So different in the way you are handling this issue this time. So different in your principles and values. So different from the one filled with integrity and honesty that I first knew.... You didnt put up a fight in your explanations. You jus explained and left. You didnt tell me wat to expect at the end. You jus left it to me. If I decided we should part, I am the devil because you did explain and I didnt listen. If I decided we should continue, everyone will see that you are the saint cos I finally realised that I was wrong.... You did not tell me if you still love me, you did not tell me wat am I to you. You did not assure me of anything. You jus left me to my decision.
And all these realizations made my tears finally roll off my face. That I am worthless, at least to you.
To you people out there, its making you feel guilt-free and making him look like he's a saint cos he's explaining himself and he's the victim of a foil-up disaster done by ME.
To me, he is more concerned about wat people think about him than wat I feel or think, because if he was more concerned about me, I should get an email 1st.
Maybe your argument was that I was fuming mad so I wouldn't listen to anything. BUT, I didnt block him on MSN, I didnt cancel him from friendster, I didnt delete myself from multiply, I didnt stop him from contacting me via MSN, email, mobile phone 9008XXXX or 9070XXXX, or house phone 6284XXXX. Wat does that tell you? That I am that same bitch who demands everything and I am that devil who is over-reacting and making him miserable now.....? Or am I jus a hopeful gal who got disappointed over and over again?
In fact I checked my emails @ yahoo and Outlook express everyday diligently..... a few times each hour and hundreds of times each day..... and in the end I received news that he sent an email to everyone except me....
I only needed a hug. I only needed you to tell me that you love me. I only needed the simple truth. I am only a simple gal. I need love and care and love and concern jus like every single gal out there. I purposely reserve my sunday afternoons for you, only to wait in vain for you to ask me out. I have my little gal dreams and I still dream. Why cant my dreams jus come true?
Do I come across as a demanding gal? Am I really unreasonable and always wan to have the last say? Why cant anyone put themselves in my shoes and think for me?
Wat happened to the beginnings? Wat happened to the passion? Wat happened to the things you promised? The promise that you would spend more time with me, the promise you will bring me and my son out? The promise that our love will be the envy for all and our love is a song that we will sing forever? So you believed that giving me a status and reached your goal, you do not need to focus on the process. I will not be at the finishing line, because along the way, you lost me.....
You lost me because you stopped loving, because you stopped feeling for me, because you stopped thinking about me, because you forgot about me, because you didnt pay enough attention to me, because you didnt have enough time with me to understand me...... You didnt know me at all.
Everything jus felt so different. So different in the way you are handling this issue this time. So different in your principles and values. So different from the one filled with integrity and honesty that I first knew.... You didnt put up a fight in your explanations. You jus explained and left. You didnt tell me wat to expect at the end. You jus left it to me. If I decided we should part, I am the devil because you did explain and I didnt listen. If I decided we should continue, everyone will see that you are the saint cos I finally realised that I was wrong.... You did not tell me if you still love me, you did not tell me wat am I to you. You did not assure me of anything. You jus left me to my decision.
And all these realizations made my tears finally roll off my face. That I am worthless, at least to you.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I AM SORRY
He came down to my place to try to explain things. While I appreciate his sincerity, I dun like the tone he presented his explanation in.
He jus tried to explain things. That's all. I dun need to go into details because I'm sure most of the people reading this here should have already received his email and should know his intentions are pure and good and I am jus being unreasonable. Because everyone trusted him except me.
Ok. I am jus being a spoilt-brat. I am hanging myself up to sell (吊起来卖), except that I am nothing worth. I am jus a useless piece of junk. I know rina's going to kill me when she read this. But its true mum. I am trying to bargain for my piece of self-worth when I am worthless.
My 1st bf went into a relationship with me, with the intention of punishing me cos he thinks I'm two-timing people (水性杨花) and I disturb the guys and he wanted to punish me for that. Although he changed his mind later and said he really loved me, I broke up with him all the same. From then on, trust became very fragile.
And due to the adolescent age that we were going thru, trust was broken many times between friends due to our rebelliousness and not knowing the true value of trust. Where was trust?
My marriage failed because of trust. Because he promised never to send her back again. And he broke that trust 3 times when I saw his car turning into her carpark. Kenji, why I gave him 3 chances.... because he was my husband....... and there were more committments and responsibilities tat came together with marriage....
Till that very day when he didnt trust me when I was at my friend's dad's funeral helping out, he said he had enough and I can go. I trusted that he would understand. I trusted that he would support my cause. But he didnt. He told me to go. So I left, and I never looked back since.
I cannot help the familiar wave of Deja Vu washing over me when he said he was at changi village and yet his car was parked at Novena. There were many venues he could choose to execute his plan. Yet he chose this, with many reasons or should I say, excuses, to support his way of doing them.
I admit I didnt have a good 1st impression of her when I 1st met her. And I dun know her well. And I have told myself countless of times that things will never happen because his cousin liked her and he's a person of integrity and honesty and that is wat drawn him to me.... and things will not happen because they will not cross the line, all the more cos they are now colleagues. I finally crossed that hurdle of COLLEAGUES.
And I have mentioned that I dun think both of you have anything going on between, I jus cannot accept the lying part. Because on that nite, he lied not only once, but he lied a few times. And the lies he told, dun make sense and dun fit any picture. Yes, everyone knows his reason for lying, his intentions were pure and good and everyone thinks he deserves a 2nd chance. Or maybe some even think he was not in the wrong.
Then who is thinking for me? Who knows the hurt I have gone thru and the trust I have slowly built up that just shattered away.... You all may not know, BUT HE KNOWS, and he still chose the path he took on sat....
He ended the talk tonite on trust. He mentioned that if there is no trust, the relationship cannot work out. Yes, he is rite. I am wrong. I am the one in the wrong cos I didnt trust him when everyone else trusted him, I am the one who is on the other side of the line, the ONLY ONE who didnt trust him. Mind you, he didnt lie to you, he LIED TO ME.
So I am the one with the problem. I am the one with the problem of not trusting. I AM SORRY that your surprise was spoilt by me because I didnt trust you and I was overly-suspicious and I AM SORRY that I maligned you and your colleague and I AM SORRY that things were not going as you planned and I AM TRULY, UTTERLY SORRY for being the manipulator of this whole issue and deciding on whether we should break or continue. And I AM SORRY that because I am so sensitive, I am contributing to your actions of lying and I AM SORRY that I actually caused you to lie and caused everyone else anxiety and guilt that was supposed to mine NOW. And I AM SORRY you have to seriously consider if you wan to take in this worthless piece of junk back, to show your sympathy towards me and maybe marry me.....
I AM SORRY IT'S ALL MY FAULT. Do watever you all wan. Curse me, hate me, do anything that will make you feel better. I AM SORRY to cause everyone so much distress. I swear not to be a burden to anyone of you anymore and I will not be so hard. I AM SORRY I WAS SO HARSH AND HARD and SO IMPULSIVE. I AM SORRY that I was being so difficult and acting like a bitch.
I seriously dun deserve all the care and concern you all gave me. Because I AM NOT WORTH IT.
PS: PMS high alert...... Stay away..... Leave me alone. I am going crazy.
He jus tried to explain things. That's all. I dun need to go into details because I'm sure most of the people reading this here should have already received his email and should know his intentions are pure and good and I am jus being unreasonable. Because everyone trusted him except me.
Ok. I am jus being a spoilt-brat. I am hanging myself up to sell (吊起来卖), except that I am nothing worth. I am jus a useless piece of junk. I know rina's going to kill me when she read this. But its true mum. I am trying to bargain for my piece of self-worth when I am worthless.
My 1st bf went into a relationship with me, with the intention of punishing me cos he thinks I'm two-timing people (水性杨花) and I disturb the guys and he wanted to punish me for that. Although he changed his mind later and said he really loved me, I broke up with him all the same. From then on, trust became very fragile.
And due to the adolescent age that we were going thru, trust was broken many times between friends due to our rebelliousness and not knowing the true value of trust. Where was trust?
My marriage failed because of trust. Because he promised never to send her back again. And he broke that trust 3 times when I saw his car turning into her carpark. Kenji, why I gave him 3 chances.... because he was my husband....... and there were more committments and responsibilities tat came together with marriage....
Till that very day when he didnt trust me when I was at my friend's dad's funeral helping out, he said he had enough and I can go. I trusted that he would understand. I trusted that he would support my cause. But he didnt. He told me to go. So I left, and I never looked back since.
I cannot help the familiar wave of Deja Vu washing over me when he said he was at changi village and yet his car was parked at Novena. There were many venues he could choose to execute his plan. Yet he chose this, with many reasons or should I say, excuses, to support his way of doing them.
I admit I didnt have a good 1st impression of her when I 1st met her. And I dun know her well. And I have told myself countless of times that things will never happen because his cousin liked her and he's a person of integrity and honesty and that is wat drawn him to me.... and things will not happen because they will not cross the line, all the more cos they are now colleagues. I finally crossed that hurdle of COLLEAGUES.
And I have mentioned that I dun think both of you have anything going on between, I jus cannot accept the lying part. Because on that nite, he lied not only once, but he lied a few times. And the lies he told, dun make sense and dun fit any picture. Yes, everyone knows his reason for lying, his intentions were pure and good and everyone thinks he deserves a 2nd chance. Or maybe some even think he was not in the wrong.
Then who is thinking for me? Who knows the hurt I have gone thru and the trust I have slowly built up that just shattered away.... You all may not know, BUT HE KNOWS, and he still chose the path he took on sat....
He ended the talk tonite on trust. He mentioned that if there is no trust, the relationship cannot work out. Yes, he is rite. I am wrong. I am the one in the wrong cos I didnt trust him when everyone else trusted him, I am the one who is on the other side of the line, the ONLY ONE who didnt trust him. Mind you, he didnt lie to you, he LIED TO ME.
So I am the one with the problem. I am the one with the problem of not trusting. I AM SORRY that your surprise was spoilt by me because I didnt trust you and I was overly-suspicious and I AM SORRY that I maligned you and your colleague and I AM SORRY that things were not going as you planned and I AM TRULY, UTTERLY SORRY for being the manipulator of this whole issue and deciding on whether we should break or continue. And I AM SORRY that because I am so sensitive, I am contributing to your actions of lying and I AM SORRY that I actually caused you to lie and caused everyone else anxiety and guilt that was supposed to mine NOW. And I AM SORRY you have to seriously consider if you wan to take in this worthless piece of junk back, to show your sympathy towards me and maybe marry me.....
I AM SORRY IT'S ALL MY FAULT. Do watever you all wan. Curse me, hate me, do anything that will make you feel better. I AM SORRY to cause everyone so much distress. I swear not to be a burden to anyone of you anymore and I will not be so hard. I AM SORRY I WAS SO HARSH AND HARD and SO IMPULSIVE. I AM SORRY that I was being so difficult and acting like a bitch.
I seriously dun deserve all the care and concern you all gave me. Because I AM NOT WORTH IT.
PS: PMS high alert...... Stay away..... Leave me alone. I am going crazy.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
It's over
Yes, Its officially over. I'm officially single after breaking up with him. I know there are people who won bets that we will break up eventually due to incompatibility in our characters and differences in opinions and everything that we clashed on.
Actually he treated me very well, jus that no one expected this kind of ending and I finally stripped him of his title "God Of Honour" because there is no more honour left. So people who love me but hate him, dun need, cos he treated me well and I was very happy with him.
I also believe that he didnt cross lines and there is nothing going on between him and her, its jus me that cannot accept this lying thing and I am hyper sensitive over stuff that could have contributed to today's ending.
Watever it is, its over and I will never hope or expect again. Let's close this chapter in my life and move on. My son still needs his mummy and I still have myself, so nothing's lost. I wish him the best in his next relationship with whoever it might be.....
As for me, :)
Actually he treated me very well, jus that no one expected this kind of ending and I finally stripped him of his title "God Of Honour" because there is no more honour left. So people who love me but hate him, dun need, cos he treated me well and I was very happy with him.
I also believe that he didnt cross lines and there is nothing going on between him and her, its jus me that cannot accept this lying thing and I am hyper sensitive over stuff that could have contributed to today's ending.
Watever it is, its over and I will never hope or expect again. Let's close this chapter in my life and move on. My son still needs his mummy and I still have myself, so nothing's lost. I wish him the best in his next relationship with whoever it might be.....
As for me, :)
I Need Somebody + Alones (Lyrics)
I Need Somebody (By Bie) - Introduced by Alex who jus came back from bangkok...
เช้า..ลืมตาขึ้นมา ก็เจอแต่เรื่องเดิมๆchao ..
leum dtaa keun maa gor jer dtae reuang derm-derm
Morning ... open my eyes, awakened, and yet I met with the same matters.
ก็ไม่มีใครมาเติมชีวิตให้เป็นเรื่องใหม่
gor mai mee krai maa dterm chee-wit hai bpen reuang mai
And yet there's nobody to enhance my life to let it be anew.
ออกไปที่อื่น เจอะใครมากมาย
ok bpai tee eun je krai maak maai
I go out somewhere, saw many people.
หันมองไปทางใด ก็เจอแต่คนรักกัน
han mong bpai taang dai gor jer dtae kon rak gan
Turn and look whichever way, I also find but people in love.
แล้วทำไมตัวเราถึงยังไม่เห็นมีใคร
laew tam-mai dtua rao teung yang mai hen mee krai
Then why myself till now still don't seems to have anyone?
แล้วต้องทนเดียวดายมีใจเอาไว้ทำไม
laew dtong ton dieow daai mee jai ao wai tam-mai
Yet I had to endure with loneliness; why have a heart for keep's sake?
ไม่ได้ใช้งาน ไม่ได้รักใคร ไม่มีกำลังใจที่ไหน...เลย
mai daai chai ngaan mai daai rak krai mai mee gam-lang jai tee nai ... loie
It isn't useful, can't love anyone, without courage wherever ... at all.
อยากมีคน อยู่ข้างกาย สบตากัน ให้หัวใจมันเต้นแรง
yaak mee kon yoo kaang gaai sop dtaa gan hai hua jai man dten raeng
I want to have a person besides me, to gaze at me, and let my heart beats strongly.
เก็บไว้คิดถึงกัน เก็บไว้คิดถึงกัน....
gep wai kit teung gan gep wai kit teung gan ....
To keep to think of, to keep to think of ...
(Chorus)
Love....I need somebodyLove....
อยากขอสักคนเพื่อ...
Love .... yaak kor sak kon peua ...
Love ... want to have someone to ...
Love.....ให้หัวใจไม่ว่างงาน
Love ..... hai hua jai mai waang ngaan
Love ... to let my heart not be idle.
มีคนให้รักกัน มีคืนวันที่ดีด้วย....
mee kon hai rak gan mee keun wan tee dee duay ...
To have a person to love, to have nights and days that's good with her ...
Love....I need somebody
Love....อยากขอสักคนเพื่อ...
Love .... yaak kor sak kon peua ...
Love ... want to have someone to ...
Love.....ให้หัวใจได้รักใคร
Love ..... hai hua jai daai rak krai
Love ... to let my heart loves somebody.
(Chorus)
มีบางคนที่แคร์ คนที่มีรักแท้คือใคร
mee baang kon tee kae kon tee mee rak tae keu krai
To have someone that cares; who is the one with true love?
คนที่โทรผิดมาเมื่อวานตอนเช้า
kon tee toh pit baan meua waan dton chao
The one that phoned the wrong number yesterday morning;k
คนที่นั่งกินข้าวติดกันเมื่อคืน
kon tee nang gin kaao dtit gan meua keun
The one that sat eating next to me last night;
คนที่ยิ้มให้กันตรงหน้าปากซอย
kon tee yim hai gan dtrong naa bpaak soi
The one that smiled at me in front of the road's opening;
ใช่หรือเปล่า ใช่หรือเปล่า....
chai reu bplao chai reu bplao ....
Is that the one? Is that the one?
แล้วทำไมตัวเราถึงยังไม่เห็นมีใคร
laew tam-mai dtua rao teung yang mai hen mee krai
Then why myself till now still don't seems to have anyone?
แล้วต้องทนเดียวดายมีใจเอาไว้ทำไม
laew dtong ton dieow daai mee jai ao wai tam-mai
Yet I had to endure with loneliness; why have a heart for keep's sake?
ไม่ได้ใช้งาน ไม่ได้รักใคร ไม่มีกำลังใจที่ไหน...เลย
mai daai chai ngaan mai daai rak krai mai mee gam-lang jai tee nai ... loie
It isn't useful, can't love anyone, without courage wherever ... at all.
อยากมีคน อยู่ข้างกาย สบตากัน ให้หัวใจมันเต้นแรง
yaak mee kon yoo kaang gaai sop dtaa gan hai hua jai man dten raeng
I want to have a person besides me, to gaze at me, and let my heart beats strongly.
เก็บไว้คิดถึงกัน เก็บไว้คิดถึงกัน....
gep wai kit teung gan gep wai kit teung gan ....
To keep to think of, to keep to think of ...
(Chorus)
จะดูแลอย่างดี ถ้าเจอใครคนนั้น...
ja doo lae yaang dee taa jer krai kon nan ...
I will take good care of her, if I find that someone ...
จะคอยเป็นห่วงกัน ไม่ทิ้งกัน ไปไหน....
ja koi bpen huang gan mai ting gan bpai nai ...
I will be concerned about her, and won't abandon her wherever ...
(Chorus)
Love....I need somebodyLove....
อยากขอสักคนเพื่อ...
Love .... yaak kor sak kon peua ...
Love ... want to have someone to ...
Love.....ให้หัวใจไม่ว่างงาน
Love ..... hai hua jai mai waang ngaan
Love ... to let my heart not be idle.
มีคนให้รักกัน มีคืนวันที่ดีด้วย....
mee kon hai rak gan mee keun wan tee dee duay ...
To have a person to love, to have nights and days that's good with her ...
Love....I need somebody
Love....อยากขอสักคนเพื่อ...
Love .... yaak kor sak kon peua ...
Love ... want to have someone to ...
Love.....ให้หัวใจได้รักใคร
Love ..... hai hua jai daai rak krai
Love ... to let my heart loves somebody.
มีบางคนที่แคร์ คนที่มีรักแท้คือใคร
mee baang kon tee kae kon tee mee rak tae keu krai
To have someone that cares; who is the one with true love?
คนที่โทรผิดมาเมื่อวานตอนเช้า
kon tee toh pit baan meua waan dton chao
The one that phoned the wrong number yesterday morning;k
คนที่นั่งกินข้าวติดกันเมื่อคืน
kon tee nang gin kaao dtit gan meua keun
The one that sat eating next to me last night;
คนที่ยิ้มให้กันตรงหน้าปากซอย
kon tee yim hai gan dtrong naa bpaak soi
The one that smiled at me in front of the road's opening;
ใช่หรือเปล่า ใช่หรือเปล่า....
chai reu bplao chai reu bplao ....
Is that the one? Is that the one?
LOVE
Alones (By Aqua Timez - BLEACH's opening song)
Your fragile, folded wings
Are just tired from the pure blue sky
You dun have to force your smiles for anyone
Its ok to smile…..for yourself
That lonely feeling keeps creeping up on me
A single candle burns still inside
There shouldn’t be an expensive chandelier in a wild place like this
Can I really bury it all with empty words
I dun even know anymore….
As long as we can swim freely in our dreams
We won’t need that sky anymore
Even if you can’t let go of the past
I’ll still be there to meet you tomorrow
Your fragile, folded wings
Are just tired from the pure blue sky
You dun have to force your smiles for anyone
Its ok to smile…..for yourself
เช้า..ลืมตาขึ้นมา ก็เจอแต่เรื่องเดิมๆchao ..
leum dtaa keun maa gor jer dtae reuang derm-derm
Morning ... open my eyes, awakened, and yet I met with the same matters.
ก็ไม่มีใครมาเติมชีวิตให้เป็นเรื่องใหม่
gor mai mee krai maa dterm chee-wit hai bpen reuang mai
And yet there's nobody to enhance my life to let it be anew.
ออกไปที่อื่น เจอะใครมากมาย
ok bpai tee eun je krai maak maai
I go out somewhere, saw many people.
หันมองไปทางใด ก็เจอแต่คนรักกัน
han mong bpai taang dai gor jer dtae kon rak gan
Turn and look whichever way, I also find but people in love.
แล้วทำไมตัวเราถึงยังไม่เห็นมีใคร
laew tam-mai dtua rao teung yang mai hen mee krai
Then why myself till now still don't seems to have anyone?
แล้วต้องทนเดียวดายมีใจเอาไว้ทำไม
laew dtong ton dieow daai mee jai ao wai tam-mai
Yet I had to endure with loneliness; why have a heart for keep's sake?
ไม่ได้ใช้งาน ไม่ได้รักใคร ไม่มีกำลังใจที่ไหน...เลย
mai daai chai ngaan mai daai rak krai mai mee gam-lang jai tee nai ... loie
It isn't useful, can't love anyone, without courage wherever ... at all.
อยากมีคน อยู่ข้างกาย สบตากัน ให้หัวใจมันเต้นแรง
yaak mee kon yoo kaang gaai sop dtaa gan hai hua jai man dten raeng
I want to have a person besides me, to gaze at me, and let my heart beats strongly.
เก็บไว้คิดถึงกัน เก็บไว้คิดถึงกัน....
gep wai kit teung gan gep wai kit teung gan ....
To keep to think of, to keep to think of ...
(Chorus)
Love....I need somebodyLove....
อยากขอสักคนเพื่อ...
Love .... yaak kor sak kon peua ...
Love ... want to have someone to ...
Love.....ให้หัวใจไม่ว่างงาน
Love ..... hai hua jai mai waang ngaan
Love ... to let my heart not be idle.
มีคนให้รักกัน มีคืนวันที่ดีด้วย....
mee kon hai rak gan mee keun wan tee dee duay ...
To have a person to love, to have nights and days that's good with her ...
Love....I need somebody
Love....อยากขอสักคนเพื่อ...
Love .... yaak kor sak kon peua ...
Love ... want to have someone to ...
Love.....ให้หัวใจได้รักใคร
Love ..... hai hua jai daai rak krai
Love ... to let my heart loves somebody.
(Chorus)
มีบางคนที่แคร์ คนที่มีรักแท้คือใคร
mee baang kon tee kae kon tee mee rak tae keu krai
To have someone that cares; who is the one with true love?
คนที่โทรผิดมาเมื่อวานตอนเช้า
kon tee toh pit baan meua waan dton chao
The one that phoned the wrong number yesterday morning;k
คนที่นั่งกินข้าวติดกันเมื่อคืน
kon tee nang gin kaao dtit gan meua keun
The one that sat eating next to me last night;
คนที่ยิ้มให้กันตรงหน้าปากซอย
kon tee yim hai gan dtrong naa bpaak soi
The one that smiled at me in front of the road's opening;
ใช่หรือเปล่า ใช่หรือเปล่า....
chai reu bplao chai reu bplao ....
Is that the one? Is that the one?
แล้วทำไมตัวเราถึงยังไม่เห็นมีใคร
laew tam-mai dtua rao teung yang mai hen mee krai
Then why myself till now still don't seems to have anyone?
แล้วต้องทนเดียวดายมีใจเอาไว้ทำไม
laew dtong ton dieow daai mee jai ao wai tam-mai
Yet I had to endure with loneliness; why have a heart for keep's sake?
ไม่ได้ใช้งาน ไม่ได้รักใคร ไม่มีกำลังใจที่ไหน...เลย
mai daai chai ngaan mai daai rak krai mai mee gam-lang jai tee nai ... loie
It isn't useful, can't love anyone, without courage wherever ... at all.
อยากมีคน อยู่ข้างกาย สบตากัน ให้หัวใจมันเต้นแรง
yaak mee kon yoo kaang gaai sop dtaa gan hai hua jai man dten raeng
I want to have a person besides me, to gaze at me, and let my heart beats strongly.
เก็บไว้คิดถึงกัน เก็บไว้คิดถึงกัน....
gep wai kit teung gan gep wai kit teung gan ....
To keep to think of, to keep to think of ...
(Chorus)
จะดูแลอย่างดี ถ้าเจอใครคนนั้น...
ja doo lae yaang dee taa jer krai kon nan ...
I will take good care of her, if I find that someone ...
จะคอยเป็นห่วงกัน ไม่ทิ้งกัน ไปไหน....
ja koi bpen huang gan mai ting gan bpai nai ...
I will be concerned about her, and won't abandon her wherever ...
(Chorus)
Love....I need somebodyLove....
อยากขอสักคนเพื่อ...
Love .... yaak kor sak kon peua ...
Love ... want to have someone to ...
Love.....ให้หัวใจไม่ว่างงาน
Love ..... hai hua jai mai waang ngaan
Love ... to let my heart not be idle.
มีคนให้รักกัน มีคืนวันที่ดีด้วย....
mee kon hai rak gan mee keun wan tee dee duay ...
To have a person to love, to have nights and days that's good with her ...
Love....I need somebody
Love....อยากขอสักคนเพื่อ...
Love .... yaak kor sak kon peua ...
Love ... want to have someone to ...
Love.....ให้หัวใจได้รักใคร
Love ..... hai hua jai daai rak krai
Love ... to let my heart loves somebody.
มีบางคนที่แคร์ คนที่มีรักแท้คือใคร
mee baang kon tee kae kon tee mee rak tae keu krai
To have someone that cares; who is the one with true love?
คนที่โทรผิดมาเมื่อวานตอนเช้า
kon tee toh pit baan meua waan dton chao
The one that phoned the wrong number yesterday morning;k
คนที่นั่งกินข้าวติดกันเมื่อคืน
kon tee nang gin kaao dtit gan meua keun
The one that sat eating next to me last night;
คนที่ยิ้มให้กันตรงหน้าปากซอย
kon tee yim hai gan dtrong naa bpaak soi
The one that smiled at me in front of the road's opening;
ใช่หรือเปล่า ใช่หรือเปล่า....
chai reu bplao chai reu bplao ....
Is that the one? Is that the one?
LOVE
Alones (By Aqua Timez - BLEACH's opening song)
Your fragile, folded wings
Are just tired from the pure blue sky
You dun have to force your smiles for anyone
Its ok to smile…..for yourself
That lonely feeling keeps creeping up on me
A single candle burns still inside
There shouldn’t be an expensive chandelier in a wild place like this
Can I really bury it all with empty words
I dun even know anymore….
As long as we can swim freely in our dreams
We won’t need that sky anymore
Even if you can’t let go of the past
I’ll still be there to meet you tomorrow
Your fragile, folded wings
Are just tired from the pure blue sky
You dun have to force your smiles for anyone
Its ok to smile…..for yourself
Monday, October 15, 2007
Roller Coaster SAT
My sat morn started at 4.30am and it was a great morn. I picked my aunts up to send my 2nd aunt to the airport for her flight to china. We had breakfast no.1 at the airport canteen, consisting of chee cheong fun and zui kueh.... their kopi si sucks big time....
After sending her off, we went to Changi Village to have a morn walk and to throw the jasmine flowers into the sea for my grandma cos it was the exact day she passed on since 2002. I miss you mama. We passed by all the familiar spots we used to picnic at with her when we were younger and when she was still around. Junior was being a very good boy and I wished I could show her my baby boy. I carried junior baby near to the sea and introduced him to his great-grandma....
My grandma's ashes were scattered into the sea near fort rd as per her wished of a sea burial. I can still very clearly remember holding her ashes in my hands on board the bum-boat and letting them go freely together with the wind....
After our morn walk, we went to have breakfast no.2 at the market at Changi Village. We had fried carrot cake and wanton noodles and Dao Huay. After that, we went to bedok interchange to get food for my dad.
After sending them back, I went to braddell to dress up for my visiting with my other family at braddell. We went to Rina's mum's place for lunch no.1. It was really cool to dress up nicely like as if it was my chinese new year....
I think I look very good on sat, pictures will be up soon cos I dun have my cable with me now. A pity some people dun think otherwise cos they didnt praise me, some didnt even look at me closely, even though they were supposed to be close to me. Even my 3 babies said I looked good. Even Rina's mum said I looked good.
After traditional malay food, we went to Queens Close to Rina's Mum's aunty place for lunch no.2. She cooked laksa and I ate 1 big bowl (thanks to mummy who scooped so much for me). After staying for a while, I sent them back and proceeded to pick Kenji up from his place to go visiting with me to my ex-colleague's place for Hari Raya.
He was supposed to come down at 2.45pm to meet me but he overslept and he came down in BERMUDAS. Ok. I was like????? I was rushing for time cos I had to pick my friends from Kembangan MRT in 10mins. He flashed me a paper and said he wanted to buy 4D. OK. I was like??????? again.
He took forever to get it done and I was really really pissed off already. He came back into the car saying he'll go back to change and drive there himself. OK. So I went to pick my friends. He didnt even look at wat I was wearing and he didnt even tell me something nice about it, about my make up, about ME.
We had traditional food at Yati's place and I met up with Labelle and her hubby bobby, Yati, Yvonne, Stefanie, Wai yi, Junaidah, Meng Mui and Carolyn. And there was my favourite SOTNG SAMBAL!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!! We chatted a bit and we left at 5pm cos I needed to pick my aunty up at 6pm to go for dinner and then to my darling SAMMI's SHOW MI concert at 8pm.
Before the concert, I smsed him telling him because I love him, I am not so pissed off with him now. He finally apologised after the whole episode. He told me his army friends asked him out for a drink and he was not very sure if he wanted to go or not. I told him to go cos its good to meet up with friends. He said he'll think about it.
After SAMMI's concert at 11pm, I drove my aunt home and smsed him telling him I am on my way home and asked him if he was drinking and to be careful cos there might be roadblocks. He said he was drinking at CHANGI VILLAGE PUB and he was going home soon too. I could have reached home in 5mins but I saw his car at Novena, RITE IN FRONT OF "DONG BAR" where she worked.
??????
5mins ago he was at Changi Village but 5mins later his car was at Novena. He was still smsing telling me that they still wanted to eat Nasi Lemak and how they missed Tekong.
Wa, such a familiar wave of Deja vu from years back. The last person on earth I would expect lies from, always lies to me. Now I know NOT to expect anymore.
I walked rite into DONG BAR where he was sitting at the bar counter, singing a duet with her. I swear if I wasn't wearing a skirt, I would have kicked him off the chair. I walked rite out again. He tried to explain that he was trying to protect me against my hyper-sensitivity and hyper-suspicious nature and my hyper-anxiety if I knew he was going to finish his bottle at dong bar.
I had already told him, I dun know her well, I need more time to understand and befriend her and I dun wish to judge her because I dunno her well enough to do so. He told me that because he thinks I will flip if I know he was there so he lied. I think he should have known me better because I might not flip, I might jus join you there drinking. Even if I might flip, I couldn't get angry too long at THE TRUTH rite?
It was a sat nite and I always have the idea that she will go back to malaysia and not work on saturdays. So i didnt think his car would be there. When I saw his car there, I was thinking, it could be jerry there and not him. And inside the pub, I was thinking most probably his army friends and/or jerry would be there. And watever I saw, told me the whole story. And everything else was history.
So to protect me from flipping, he lied, because he dun know me well enough. He doesnt know that a woman has sixth sense. And guys can never understand wat this sixth sense is about.
I hate lies. And the lie you told proved everything except your innocence. Because after that lie, you lied more. I dun see your army friends ard you, it was only you and her. And the bottle was still there, if your army friends were there, they would have finished the bottle with you. And if they left the place already, why are you still there?
Then you lied again to say you were really at changi village and you jus reached not too long ago (But WHERE ARE YOUR ARMY FRIENDS???) but the way you were dressed was not a changi village outfit. You would wear shorts to changi village and NOT LONG PANTS. You mentioned before that you would only wear long pants at DONG BAR cos you give face to the boss and dress better. Then you changed your lie again and told me actually you were at DONG BAR very early..... I dunno which one I should believe and how to believe you.
I am not F***ING stupid. I already have problems TRUSTING. You jus have to break everything I have slowly built up, the trust, the hope of a good guy, the hope of a great future, the hope of a wonderful marriage, with jus 1 lie and the other lies to cover up your LIE.
A r/s should be based on honesty, not LIES. If I continued with you, I would be tempted to tell you a lie every single day. You made a BIG mistake to think FOR ME, and not think ABOUT ME.
And to my friends out there, I am fine. I jus got drunk yesterday and woke up with a hangover, but I am sober enough to know wat I am typing here. With him or without him, we will still be friends and maybe we might not be meeting up as often, jus be assured that You are still my friends.
Although i am never gonna drink and drive again cos I didnt know how I managed to get home (and I was the driver) and I had Alcoholism Amnesia, it was good to let your hair down once in a while.
PS: Maybe no.70 would be THE ONE for you.... My 1st bf was Raymond, 2nd was Bobby, 3rd was John, 4th was William, 5th was Elton, 6th was Wai and 7th was you. And 7 was my favourite number, you jus had to put a mark on it....
After sending her off, we went to Changi Village to have a morn walk and to throw the jasmine flowers into the sea for my grandma cos it was the exact day she passed on since 2002. I miss you mama. We passed by all the familiar spots we used to picnic at with her when we were younger and when she was still around. Junior was being a very good boy and I wished I could show her my baby boy. I carried junior baby near to the sea and introduced him to his great-grandma....
My grandma's ashes were scattered into the sea near fort rd as per her wished of a sea burial. I can still very clearly remember holding her ashes in my hands on board the bum-boat and letting them go freely together with the wind....
After our morn walk, we went to have breakfast no.2 at the market at Changi Village. We had fried carrot cake and wanton noodles and Dao Huay. After that, we went to bedok interchange to get food for my dad.
After sending them back, I went to braddell to dress up for my visiting with my other family at braddell. We went to Rina's mum's place for lunch no.1. It was really cool to dress up nicely like as if it was my chinese new year....
I think I look very good on sat, pictures will be up soon cos I dun have my cable with me now. A pity some people dun think otherwise cos they didnt praise me, some didnt even look at me closely, even though they were supposed to be close to me. Even my 3 babies said I looked good. Even Rina's mum said I looked good.
After traditional malay food, we went to Queens Close to Rina's Mum's aunty place for lunch no.2. She cooked laksa and I ate 1 big bowl (thanks to mummy who scooped so much for me). After staying for a while, I sent them back and proceeded to pick Kenji up from his place to go visiting with me to my ex-colleague's place for Hari Raya.
He was supposed to come down at 2.45pm to meet me but he overslept and he came down in BERMUDAS. Ok. I was like????? I was rushing for time cos I had to pick my friends from Kembangan MRT in 10mins. He flashed me a paper and said he wanted to buy 4D. OK. I was like??????? again.
He took forever to get it done and I was really really pissed off already. He came back into the car saying he'll go back to change and drive there himself. OK. So I went to pick my friends. He didnt even look at wat I was wearing and he didnt even tell me something nice about it, about my make up, about ME.
We had traditional food at Yati's place and I met up with Labelle and her hubby bobby, Yati, Yvonne, Stefanie, Wai yi, Junaidah, Meng Mui and Carolyn. And there was my favourite SOTNG SAMBAL!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!! We chatted a bit and we left at 5pm cos I needed to pick my aunty up at 6pm to go for dinner and then to my darling SAMMI's SHOW MI concert at 8pm.
Before the concert, I smsed him telling him because I love him, I am not so pissed off with him now. He finally apologised after the whole episode. He told me his army friends asked him out for a drink and he was not very sure if he wanted to go or not. I told him to go cos its good to meet up with friends. He said he'll think about it.
After SAMMI's concert at 11pm, I drove my aunt home and smsed him telling him I am on my way home and asked him if he was drinking and to be careful cos there might be roadblocks. He said he was drinking at CHANGI VILLAGE PUB and he was going home soon too. I could have reached home in 5mins but I saw his car at Novena, RITE IN FRONT OF "DONG BAR" where she worked.
??????
5mins ago he was at Changi Village but 5mins later his car was at Novena. He was still smsing telling me that they still wanted to eat Nasi Lemak and how they missed Tekong.
Wa, such a familiar wave of Deja vu from years back. The last person on earth I would expect lies from, always lies to me. Now I know NOT to expect anymore.
I walked rite into DONG BAR where he was sitting at the bar counter, singing a duet with her. I swear if I wasn't wearing a skirt, I would have kicked him off the chair. I walked rite out again. He tried to explain that he was trying to protect me against my hyper-sensitivity and hyper-suspicious nature and my hyper-anxiety if I knew he was going to finish his bottle at dong bar.
I had already told him, I dun know her well, I need more time to understand and befriend her and I dun wish to judge her because I dunno her well enough to do so. He told me that because he thinks I will flip if I know he was there so he lied. I think he should have known me better because I might not flip, I might jus join you there drinking. Even if I might flip, I couldn't get angry too long at THE TRUTH rite?
It was a sat nite and I always have the idea that she will go back to malaysia and not work on saturdays. So i didnt think his car would be there. When I saw his car there, I was thinking, it could be jerry there and not him. And inside the pub, I was thinking most probably his army friends and/or jerry would be there. And watever I saw, told me the whole story. And everything else was history.
So to protect me from flipping, he lied, because he dun know me well enough. He doesnt know that a woman has sixth sense. And guys can never understand wat this sixth sense is about.
I hate lies. And the lie you told proved everything except your innocence. Because after that lie, you lied more. I dun see your army friends ard you, it was only you and her. And the bottle was still there, if your army friends were there, they would have finished the bottle with you. And if they left the place already, why are you still there?
Then you lied again to say you were really at changi village and you jus reached not too long ago (But WHERE ARE YOUR ARMY FRIENDS???) but the way you were dressed was not a changi village outfit. You would wear shorts to changi village and NOT LONG PANTS. You mentioned before that you would only wear long pants at DONG BAR cos you give face to the boss and dress better. Then you changed your lie again and told me actually you were at DONG BAR very early..... I dunno which one I should believe and how to believe you.
I am not F***ING stupid. I already have problems TRUSTING. You jus have to break everything I have slowly built up, the trust, the hope of a good guy, the hope of a great future, the hope of a wonderful marriage, with jus 1 lie and the other lies to cover up your LIE.
A r/s should be based on honesty, not LIES. If I continued with you, I would be tempted to tell you a lie every single day. You made a BIG mistake to think FOR ME, and not think ABOUT ME.
And to my friends out there, I am fine. I jus got drunk yesterday and woke up with a hangover, but I am sober enough to know wat I am typing here. With him or without him, we will still be friends and maybe we might not be meeting up as often, jus be assured that You are still my friends.
Although i am never gonna drink and drive again cos I didnt know how I managed to get home (and I was the driver) and I had Alcoholism Amnesia, it was good to let your hair down once in a while.
PS: Maybe no.70 would be THE ONE for you.... My 1st bf was Raymond, 2nd was Bobby, 3rd was John, 4th was William, 5th was Elton, 6th was Wai and 7th was you. And 7 was my favourite number, you jus had to put a mark on it....
Making the relationship last.
Adapted from Bar Advice's bloggie http://bar-advice.blogspot.com
The explanation for most vexing relationship questions is actually quite simple. The majority of our relationships, as well as our patterns of relating in general, are based on need rather than love. This is probably no surprise to you. However, it may surprise you that there is something you can do about it. Stop looking for love in all the wrong places.
Most of us are on a quest for love that amounts to trying to fill a leaky cup. Every time we appear to get love from an external source, especially from another person, it merely reinforces the belief that love can be found outside us. So, the feeling of receiving love or approval inherently has "leakage". This includes the fear of losing love, resentment towards the people we feel we need to get it from, and the simple act of looking away from the love that we, by nature, already are. Sometimes it's years of frustration during our youth at home that builds into a swell and when we don't get the love from the external source later or we find that the external source does the same things as home, we are devastated. We ask, "where is love".
Good news. You can turn each of these dilemmas around simply by letting go of wanting love or approval. You can also hasten the process by looking for mutual ways to love, as opposed to getting it, and mutual ways to give love, in addition to receiving it.
If you’re in any kind of an intimate relationship with a life partner, friend, or family member, and you can reach the point where you simply love the other person as he or she is, as best you can, then both of you can relax and be authentic with each other. This promotes much healthier, more satisfactory interactions. A fine example was when Steadman told Oprah that the wig she wore that resembled Tina Turner did not suit her. He said that none of her workers would dare say a thing but he had to because she wasn't Tina. She realized it and even on TV told this story to make a point that love means having the ability to say anything and the other person knows that they will never hurt them. Only help.
If the relationship is to last both sides have to ensure they are honest and truthful to the other. You don't need the approval of your partner on every issue but you need their counsel and concern. So to should you do the same for them in return.
Bar advice.We make mistakes at times but isn't it better to know the other person won't be there to judge you.
Making the relationship last.
Have you ever wondered why some intimate relationships work and others don’t? Why so many of us seem to have the same relationships with a series of different people? Some people can easily find a mate while others struggle. Why? Is there a way you can accelerate the process of uncovering and living your natural loving nature?The explanation for most vexing relationship questions is actually quite simple. The majority of our relationships, as well as our patterns of relating in general, are based on need rather than love. This is probably no surprise to you. However, it may surprise you that there is something you can do about it. Stop looking for love in all the wrong places.
Most of us are on a quest for love that amounts to trying to fill a leaky cup. Every time we appear to get love from an external source, especially from another person, it merely reinforces the belief that love can be found outside us. So, the feeling of receiving love or approval inherently has "leakage". This includes the fear of losing love, resentment towards the people we feel we need to get it from, and the simple act of looking away from the love that we, by nature, already are. Sometimes it's years of frustration during our youth at home that builds into a swell and when we don't get the love from the external source later or we find that the external source does the same things as home, we are devastated. We ask, "where is love".
Good news. You can turn each of these dilemmas around simply by letting go of wanting love or approval. You can also hasten the process by looking for mutual ways to love, as opposed to getting it, and mutual ways to give love, in addition to receiving it.
If you’re in any kind of an intimate relationship with a life partner, friend, or family member, and you can reach the point where you simply love the other person as he or she is, as best you can, then both of you can relax and be authentic with each other. This promotes much healthier, more satisfactory interactions. A fine example was when Steadman told Oprah that the wig she wore that resembled Tina Turner did not suit her. He said that none of her workers would dare say a thing but he had to because she wasn't Tina. She realized it and even on TV told this story to make a point that love means having the ability to say anything and the other person knows that they will never hurt them. Only help.
If the relationship is to last both sides have to ensure they are honest and truthful to the other. You don't need the approval of your partner on every issue but you need their counsel and concern. So to should you do the same for them in return.
Bar advice.We make mistakes at times but isn't it better to know the other person won't be there to judge you.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
SMOKING
And mum, D made me do this post..... and he made me take the pics too.... not my fault....
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But mum he seemed to enjoy it dun he?
New songs + Ranting
Hey if you noticed I changed my blog songs again. And I added some really new songs here. Slyvester Sim's "希望" (Hope) and Jay Chou's "牛仔很忙" (Cowboy's busy). I nearly flipped off my chair when I heard Jay Chou's new song. I dun really like his singing cos he mumbles, but now I like him better cos he comes across to me as a sincere singer. And this new song will really make you laugh. I was drinking milk and the milk nearly came out from my nose cos I was trying to control my laughter...... you listen then give me your comments.... I never tot he would try this genre of songs.... hahahahaha.....
Today is a rainy day. I managed to finish my mornin classes but afternoon ones are all cancelled. I wonder if the people I love are doing good today. I worry whenever it rains whether kenji is indoors or outdoors at work. You know he always walk ard his sites and he travels east to west to south to north everyday.
Driving on a rainy day is worrying cos I nearly had a near-accident last week cos it was drizzling and the road was wet and slippery and I had to e-brake cos the huge truck in front of me jus braked to stop. I stepped on my brakes but I skidded and I wanted to swerve rite to go to the other lane and there was a taxi. Luckily God was watching me cos as the taxi sped past, I quickly swerved to avoid a collision. If I collided, it would be HEAD-ON and I dun think you can see me here typing this entry.
So today I hid at home typing my entries and reading the 20-30blogs that I always read. And I notice that more and more people are locking up their blogs. Well, then I dun read lor, I respect your privacy. :)
I also bought Rum & Raisin Ice Cream from Swensons and I finished it.... YEAH..... I LOVE RUM & RAISIN....
Jus a nice treat for myself after thinking so much over the past few days. Sent my mum to Suntec, the same place where I held an important event a few years back.... and I read Xiaxue's blog on her getting invited to the DHL balloon and wanting to get married to mike. I also would like to get on the DHL balloon..... but I dun wan to get married yet.... hahahaha, so I wun tell kenji to marry me or I will jump down..... hahahahaha. I think kenji will ask me to marry him or he will jump.... hahahhahaa....
Tonite someone's giving me a treat.... heehee.... I am so happy there's food and YOU.....
Tmr is gonna be a busy day..... Cos my day will start at 4.30am. And going to end late too.... And in between I am going around visiting and wun have time to sleep..... sigh... but its gonna be FUN!!! YEAH.....
Yesterday Ah ber went to dinner with the rambutan sisters and 1 rambutan boy named Junior. We went to Beach Cabana at ECP, 1000 East Coast Parkway (Tel: 62412822). Ms Kerin intro this restaurant cum bar to us cos her good friend brought her there before, and we also met her good friend there too..... and best thing, I didnt recognise him. Guys always seem to recognise pretty gals better than gals recognising average looking guys (Oops, that hurts).
We all had mixed grill cos it seemed to be the most "worth it" dish on the menu. We wanted to order calamari but it was daylight robbery at $9 for calamari so we ordered another main dish to share. We ordered the cabana spicy sausage to share....
Our drinks came while we were waiting cos the food is 100% charcoal grilled so the wait is worth it. Me and Wendy ordered Kilkenny while Ms Kerin ordered Erdinger Dunkel (black). Dunno since when this gal liked Erdinger Dunkel, but she kept saying it is gassy like coke.
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In the end, the mixed grill was disappointing. Cos it was very small portion. I look at it and I knew that it belonged to Junior cos he's hungry and I have to feed him.... so in the end, he shared most of my chicken and my lamb.... so sad.....JPG)
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My New Pet AGAIN
I have a new pet AGAIN.... Hahaha.... pls dun roll your eyeballs back into your head pls....
It all started when I had to go get swimming boards for my students so I usually go to Toys R Us cos they were selling at $8/- compared to $14/plus outside in the sports shops.... I went to the 1st one at United Square and they didnt have the boards so I went to the one at Forum and I SWEAR BY this branch at forum cos its HUGE. I LOVE IT.... I am still a big kid inside me ok....
Wow, imagine a big kid going to 2 different Toys R Us in 1 day.... must be madness rite? Indeed.... I bought junior a halloween costume (haha, its a big mystery wat he'll be dressing up as) and I bought myself dracula fangs for fun..... and I bought my new pet...
They are SEA-MONKEYS. I jus have to get them la. Cos my fighting fish bluey and berry died. I also dunno why. And my neighbour's kids love my hamsters so I have to part with the 2 boys. I will never part with mouse tze cos I WUV HER.....
It all started when I had to go get swimming boards for my students so I usually go to Toys R Us cos they were selling at $8/- compared to $14/plus outside in the sports shops.... I went to the 1st one at United Square and they didnt have the boards so I went to the one at Forum and I SWEAR BY this branch at forum cos its HUGE. I LOVE IT.... I am still a big kid inside me ok....
Wow, imagine a big kid going to 2 different Toys R Us in 1 day.... must be madness rite? Indeed.... I bought junior a halloween costume (haha, its a big mystery wat he'll be dressing up as) and I bought myself dracula fangs for fun..... and I bought my new pet...
They are SEA-MONKEYS. I jus have to get them la. Cos my fighting fish bluey and berry died. I also dunno why. And my neighbour's kids love my hamsters so I have to part with the 2 boys. I will never part with mouse tze cos I WUV HER.....
Its practically very easy to rear sea monkeys. By the way, do you know wat are they or not? They look like little shrimps in the water. They hatch instantly when they touch water, and need minimal feeding and air and maintenance. Very easy pets, but you do have to use a magnifying glass to really look at them for a bit. And the best thing is, this sea-monkeys kit comes with full sets of instructions, easy to read and understand cos many pictures also.....
A monkey rearing sea-monkeys. Ironic? Hahaha....
Quality Time
Prior to my earlier post, Ms Kerin asked me another ques.... and I dunno why she got so many ques for me to answer.... She asked me how to define quality time. I think that quality time is time where you enjoy the company of the people you were with, know, understand more about them and these times will be with you and make you smile when you relive them.
Did you know that research shows that most children with traumatic childhood will die before age 30. That is because we all want love and human contact.
Some other scientists also did research and found that if a baby is given food and water and absolutely no human contact, they will die. The fact tat you are alive and reading here now is cos you are loved.
Please pass the love on and pay it forward!
What do you think about quality time? Leave a comment on wat you think....
Did you know that research shows that most children with traumatic childhood will die before age 30. That is because we all want love and human contact.
Some other scientists also did research and found that if a baby is given food and water and absolutely no human contact, they will die. The fact tat you are alive and reading here now is cos you are loved.
Please pass the love on and pay it forward!
What do you think about quality time? Leave a comment on wat you think....
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Philosophy
The past few days passed so slowly. I haven't been sleeping well because there are some things weighing on my mind and my insomnia was due to unnecessary overloading of my bird brain. I wondered and pondered alot.
And it always happens and now I know how to cure it. I jus have to think and think and think and when my brain sorts out everything, I'll be fine. Wat happens if my bird brain doesn't sort things out? Then I gotta write and write and write in my diary and sleep on the issue and everything will be fine, cos most of the issues dun need me to sort out, they jus sort themselves out cos its not possible for them to happen.
Maybe I am jus not contented enough la. I have everything I have now, yet I am not contented la. Humans are really greedy, at least I am greedy..... haha I am a typical human. I feel I am getting no where. Where is the ultimate goal? No goal is good enough for me I think....
When things settle down, then I feel better la, like now lor....
Of cos I find ways to calm myself down la, like go SHOPPING or eating CHOCOLATES or spend time with the people I love and who love me.....
I jus hope that this time round, the people ard me better have more heart dealing with me... cos i am also jus a fragile human being, deprived of love, deprived of things I wanted and would appreciate love and care and concern from the people who love me.....
Ms Kerin posted me a question last mth. If I have my last 24hours on earth, who do I wan to spend it with.....
If everyone else have also 24hours left, I will spend it with Junior, cos I know junior will wan to spend it with me. Everyone else have their commitments and other people they love too, so they most probably will spend it with the people they wan to spend it with, and most probably, that person is not me..... so I jus dun disturb.... hahahaha.....
If only me have 24hours left, I will go to a place, most probably is the beach or some place on earth I haven't been before that I really badly wan to go, I will go there and wait for my death and let those who really love me and wan to see me the last time to come and see me if they wan to..... only then will I know who really love me.....
Quality vs Quantity....
Which one is important? Someone once told me quantity time is not good enough, not the same as quality time together.... I dunno how far this statement affects anyone of you out there..... but I believe that all the time I spent with anyone, is quality time because I put in my best effort and all my time and I try to make my best out of any time I spend with anyone.... so the more time I have with someone, the more quality time I spend with them.....
No quantity means no quality.... ya understand? How to have quality when you dun even make time for me????
And it always happens and now I know how to cure it. I jus have to think and think and think and when my brain sorts out everything, I'll be fine. Wat happens if my bird brain doesn't sort things out? Then I gotta write and write and write in my diary and sleep on the issue and everything will be fine, cos most of the issues dun need me to sort out, they jus sort themselves out cos its not possible for them to happen.
Maybe I am jus not contented enough la. I have everything I have now, yet I am not contented la. Humans are really greedy, at least I am greedy..... haha I am a typical human. I feel I am getting no where. Where is the ultimate goal? No goal is good enough for me I think....
When things settle down, then I feel better la, like now lor....
Of cos I find ways to calm myself down la, like go SHOPPING or eating CHOCOLATES or spend time with the people I love and who love me.....
I jus hope that this time round, the people ard me better have more heart dealing with me... cos i am also jus a fragile human being, deprived of love, deprived of things I wanted and would appreciate love and care and concern from the people who love me.....
Ms Kerin posted me a question last mth. If I have my last 24hours on earth, who do I wan to spend it with.....
If everyone else have also 24hours left, I will spend it with Junior, cos I know junior will wan to spend it with me. Everyone else have their commitments and other people they love too, so they most probably will spend it with the people they wan to spend it with, and most probably, that person is not me..... so I jus dun disturb.... hahahaha.....
If only me have 24hours left, I will go to a place, most probably is the beach or some place on earth I haven't been before that I really badly wan to go, I will go there and wait for my death and let those who really love me and wan to see me the last time to come and see me if they wan to..... only then will I know who really love me.....
Quality vs Quantity....
Which one is important? Someone once told me quantity time is not good enough, not the same as quality time together.... I dunno how far this statement affects anyone of you out there..... but I believe that all the time I spent with anyone, is quality time because I put in my best effort and all my time and I try to make my best out of any time I spend with anyone.... so the more time I have with someone, the more quality time I spend with them.....
No quantity means no quality.... ya understand? How to have quality when you dun even make time for me????
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
FOOD!!!
Mon was work, work & work day.... but a few classes cancelled so I was quite happy cos I woke up with a bit of a hangover (must be the cheap vodka) and I was sleepy but I was filled with caffeine from the coke I drank so I was unble to nap properly....
But it was happening in the evening cos I went to Geylang Serai and had lotsa FOOD..... but I didnt have my sotong sambal and mummy cooked for me today!!! YEAH....
Today was a normal day, and it was great in the evening cos I went to sushi tei @ TAKA with my parents and 4 of my aunts.... yeah..... so long didnt eat japanese food so I really enjoyed my dinner.....
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I seriously didnt realise that I HAVE A DIMPLE. Cool... I HAVE A DIMPLE!!!!
After dinner, we went back to my eldest aunt house at Thomson to see her grandchildren, which I have confirmed, are my 2nd cousins cos they are the children of my cousin..... and that is the ANG MO way of addressing..... not nephews ok..... but the chinese way, I am their Biao Ku (表姑 or cousin aunt)...
My niece and nephew (I am chinese ok)..... Suzanna & Seth....
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And I can fit into my old cheongsam which I bought in 2000 when I was 20 yrs old..... The bust part is VERY tight though.... Hahaha..... I have GrOwN.... but my figure is hmmmmm.... hahahahaha - still like chopsticks (Last time in the airport they call me zombie cos I always dun have enough sleep cos I was working nite shift and day time I work part time with ESPN as a receptionist for extra money) SO I am happy today la cos I can fit into it...
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