BITCHES

Ah ber was fuming mad jus now and hopping around with rage.

I hope to kill the bitches around me. The bitches who think they are cleverer than me, the bitches who think they know more than me, the bitches who think they can step on me, the bitches who stepped on me, the bitches who belittle me, the bitches who are f***ing bitches.

I know why I am not rich. Cos if I am rich I will use money to slap these bitches' faces.
I know why I am not having a high position. Cos if I am their boss I will make them bark like bitches do.
I know why I am not in USA. Cos if I am in USA I would have already KILLED THEM BITCHES (with guns and anything i can lay my hands on).

Jus cos I am nice doesn't mean I can be bullied. Jus cos you are my f***ing client doesn't mean you are always rite. EAT ME? Go eat yourself.

Is there a job where you can be nasty and yet people still love you, maybe even more when you get nastier? Hahahahahaha..... I must be dreaming. Tonite I will dream that I am kicking ur butts and making u all bark and dream that junior is peeing in ur faces.

On a brighter note, I am glad that you are jus the client and not my boss, or else I will resign on the spot. So I am still considered very lucky cos YOU ARE NOT MY BOSS.

I will jus do my work and u can say anything you wan, but I wun bother lor. I will definately be affected, but you are jus a bitch and I wun bother. Hahahahhahha....

I cannot sleep last nite...

Yesterday I couldn't sleep.


I sat in my room on my bed starring at the things still in the cupboards and still on the shelves and still lying around. I was tired, but I cannot sleep. It must be the coffee I drank in the morn and the green tea I drank in the afternoon.

So I lay down in bed hoping I will drift off to sleep. I miss my son, my little black fur ball that is smelly, wet and moves around quite a bit.

I started to visualise the furniture and my stuff around the new house. I tried to move and fit them mentally in my brain. Its really a big headache to move house and all the cleaning and all the arrangements that needed to be done. Packing is no problem, its the unpacking and arranging of stuff that can kill. Cleaning too. I think I hate cleaning up the most. Cos I am lazy. HAhahahaa....

I got frustrated cos I couldn't fit in the furniture without measuring them 1st, then I drifted off to sleep having weird dreams that I was still in office having meetings and talking to my boss and stuff like tat.

So bottomline was, I didnt really rest.

Today I can bring junior home, and maybe bring brandy over. But my room is in a mess!!!! Not liveable for my son and daughter in law. So they have to wait maybe over the weekends then come back la. I only recognise brandy as my daughter in law. Cos I am not really close to niu niu. I am very close to coco and brandy and I love them cos they are my god-daughters. But niu niu looks like very poor thing la. Cos her mummy didnt really visit her over the 1week she was at rina's house.

I better go back and pack my stuff and move them to sengkang 1st, then have more room for junior to run about and chase brandy. Heehee.....

I seriously cannot wait to move in. I seriously AM frustrated that things (including me) are moving so slowly. I am frustrated when my excitement is high, hope is high, then disappointment also high. Arrrrrrrrrrgh!

Artificial Bamboo

Anyone knows a good and reasonable place to buy artificial bamboo? I wan to buy artificial bamboo stallk with leaves. The japanese or chinese kind also can (better would be the chinese bamboo). I wan to buy individually one, not the ones in the pots.

Anyone know where to buy artificial bamboo and the prices, pls let me know. Thk q very much.

Overspending

And I have been spending lots of money. Money no enough. I need to curb my spending habits. Like see this I like, I buy. I need to smack my hand everytime it takes the wallet out. Need to keep my money under lock and key so that i will not be tempted to spend it.

Better still, spend it all before I overspend. Hahahahaha.

Good Rants

Rina jus sms me with good news that Junior and Niu Niu are stuck again. Brandy I know you are also on heat but you have to wait till junior is done with Niu Niu then he'll go after you. Heehee.

I miss my gong gong boy. I'm so busy that I cannot go visit him. Yesterday I was too tired. And my room's still in a mess. I'm doing spring cleaning for my room and at the same time, throw out the stuff that I dun need and donate them to either salvation army or to needy people. I'm also packing my stuff into boxes to be ready to be sent to sengkang anytime. Hahahahaha.

The nearly $600 worth of Ikea items are still sitting in tortilla. Its bit draining on my petrol, but nvm, I really have no time and energy to move them to sengkang.

I think I dun need much help in moving house. I'll jus move them bit by bit. And luckily I dun have really tat much stuff tat I imagined I have.

I jus have lots of clothes tat I dun feel like throwing cos either I only wore them a few times, or I really liked them or I jus can't bear to throw them away. Hahahaha. I am a karang guni. And I also have lots of small stuff that I dunno where to keep. Hahahaha. I am INDEED a karang guni. I keep telling myself, the stuff I can throw, I better throw. But I still cant bear to throw. I have a whole cupboard of stuff that I cannot move cos I really dunno where to keep them. They are my precious memories up in my cupboard. I like to take them down sometimes and walk down memory lane once in a while.

And lots of paper too. My previous property work involves lots of paperwork so I have stacks of them tat I cannot throw in case of reference purposes.

And now, I have 1 whole cupboard of junior's things too. Hahahahaha. Clothes and treats and his things like collars, leash, shoes, grooming kits, medicines, supplements, TOYS (many manY) .....etc. Like a real child he needs lotsa things too.

I am really sorting everything out and decide which are important and cannot be moved and am going to move my cupboard to find space to keep them in. And sorting out the things that I can move 1st so that I dun need to move so many things later on. I guess later on I have more things to be done than jus moving.

The things to be done in January have mostly been done. January the most taxing thing was to source for the wedding venue and wedding photoshoots and source for nice nice furniture and prepare to celebrate CNY and prepare to move house.

Feb's gonna be a more busy mth cos fixing of aircon, cable, internet, delivery of furniture, wedding photoshoot, cleaning up the house, MOVING IN, getting use to being a housewife and getting used to finally living under 1 same roof with dino senior and dino junior. Seriously I dunno wat to expect. Kenji kept asking me if he will squash junior to death when he sleeps. I really dunno. I jus hope junior not stupid and he should be able to run off when kenji turns.

And I hope junior doesn't freeze in the aircon..... Arrrrrrrrgh..... I miss my baby boy.....

NUDE IN ART EXHIBITION - "Nuspiration"

NUDE IN ART EXHIBITION - "Nuspiration"

Date: 8th to 14th February 2008

Time: 10am to 7pm daily

Venue:19 & 21 Kerbau Road (Near Little India MRT)

Group90 contact - 6475 5010

(Official Opening on 8th Febuary, 6.30pm - Attire: Smart Casual

Guest of Honour: Mr. Milenko Prvacki)

Some drawings done by my dad Yeo Yew Chuan will be displayed during the exhibition. I personally feel that his drawings are very good. If you are curious about Nude Art, please visit the exihibition if you can, to support him.

I am his sales manager so if you are keen in any of his art, you can approach me for the price. Heehee. Some of them are not-for-sale.

Please lend your support.

Anyone wan to be model for nude art also can. Hahaha..... So far I have Ms Lena on the list.

Junior finally got it + CNY is coming!!!

Junior finally got it. They had a break on sat and on sun, niu niu was brought down to rina's place and within 10mins I received a call from rina saying they were stuck together. Haahahahaha. It sounded so comical the way she described it.

They were stuck for more than 15mins I think. Hahahahaha. And both of them looked quite puzzled as to wat was happening. Junior couldn't sit properly so I think he must be quite pissed off.

Anyway I couldn't visit cos I had my cramps as it was my 1st day. But I rested for a while and I went shopping!!

I went to a shop selling wedding stuff in Outram. Not very cheap but the aunty was very helpful. I bought the bedside lanterns, the tea ceremony teaset, the needle poker with babies around me (I think this one symbolise many babies rite - hahahahaah) I think its a good time to buy so that junior can have more babies and me too. At the moment junior is leading in the babies thing cos Ms Lena told me brandy is also on heat. Hahahaha. Junior's getting alot this month. Dunno will he get too tired and exhausted or not. Hahahahahaha.

Actually i also dunno wat they symbolise but as long as its good meaning, can buy lor. Nearer to the date Kenji has to get the "an chuang" things for the bed too. Cos if I buy yesterday then the things will go mouldy fast. Hahahahaha.

After that we went shopping at the market there and had our dinner there too. Couldn't eat much too, but still managed to eat (actually I seriously think I am quite fat now - I look at my arms in the mirror and I am fed-up)

After that we went people's park to walk walk and shop shop and my mum bought her top for my wedding. Nice nice one from OG. We also walked the little little shops in the complex but not very interesting.

I also bought a top for CNY - 1st time I am buying my CNY clothes way way before CNY. I usually either buy it a day before at either tekka or chinatown or in town or the eve itself in chinatown while walking the nite market.

Who wan to go with me to chinatown on the eve????? Any volunteers? I should be driving but will be parking a bit further from chinatown. Anyone wan to ABSORB the CNY mood with me on the eve at chinatown's SMITH ST? Hahahahaha.

Quite exciting that CNY is around the corner - cos it means HOLIDAYS for me. Hahahahahha.

And next week is going to be a GREAT WEEK.

On the 5th feb (tues), company giving ang bao (rumoured to be $50) and 2 oranges.

On 6th feb (wed), company releasing at 1.30pm - YEAH!! I can go do last min shopping. And then I going to have reunion dinner with my family at ZI RAN restaurant again cos my popo like the food there. And then after dinner maybe I will join kenji or go to chinatown or spend CNY eve quietly with my darling son.

On 7th feb (thu) - 1st day of CNY..... YEAH!! Ang bao time!!! I will bring oranges and gong xi gong xi to everyone I see and get ang bao. Hahahahahahaha. Remember to give one for Junior too cos he'll go round with me ok. He got this golden CNY shirt from Shuling which he will be wearing for CNY to go round gong xi gong xi with me. YEAH!!

The rest of the days most prob I will be sleeping or gambling or stuffing myself with the goodies so if your house have CNY goodies like pineapple tarts, kueh bankit, kueh baulu, love letters, butter cookies, kok chye (baby curry puffs), BAH KUA, Soft drinks, beer, liquor...etc

PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME...... Thank you very much. I will ZOOM to your house with Junior - cos he like bah kua too. Hahahahahaha.

The best thing is, no work and no class (for whole week) YEAH.......

I sent Junior away

I wanted another dog so badly that Yesterday I sent my son away. I sent him to deflower niu niu that stays on 12th floor in bradel. Niu Niu's mum called me on Mon but I was too sick to entertain her. But she called again yesterday.

So I decided to bring junior to niu niu's house and leave him there for the nite.

Bad move.

I went with him to check out the environment. They were kept in a small cage so that productivity would be more effective.

Although he went into action in less than 5 mins, and niu niu even pouted her bum up to receive him, he happily humped..... but he didnt know I was leaving him there for the whole nite.

He cried the whole nite according to niu niu's mummy.....

I was so heart broken to hear that junior cried the whole nite. He also didnt eat properly before he went to niu niu's house. And he didnt sleep the whole nite.

I dunno if it was because he was confined the whole nite, or he wasn't used to the place (his 1st time there), or he missed me, or he was sad to lose his virginity or..........????

But he was crying even when rina went to pick him up this morn. My poor baby......

I am seriously thinking of leaving him there from 3pm to the next morn again today...... but I dunno if he will cry again or not. I am thinking of bringing niu niu down to rina's house, but he will still cry cos he doesn't like to be confined. So HOW? How to get puppies like tat?

I seriously hope that he will succeed in making niu niu pregnant. Then dun need to do this another time.

And if niu niu really gets pregnant and if there are 2 puppies, niu niu's mummy will give me 1 puppy. Yeah!!! Then junior will have a sister or brother (or daughter or son???). Then cannot let junior hump the daughter or sister. Cos will have DOWN SYNDROME or be retarded one..... jus like humans we also cannot have such behaviour.

But hamsters can..... hahaahaha and they multiply very very very rapidly......

Today I going for branch dinner with my colleagues and then after that I will go back and visit my poor baby boy.

Weather + Shopping

I dunno if I am the only one feeling the heat. Cos at nite I cannot sleep as easily cos I think its not cool enough. There is a breeze coming thru my window and junior does have cold feet sometimes, but I still wake up in some sweat.

The only time I am not hot is when I bring junior down for his morn walk early in the morn before the sun rises and the breeze downstairs is sooooooo welcoming.

Then after my bath, I feel hot and sweaty. Even while doing make up I cannot concentrate cos I feel sooooooo warm and sticky and hot and sweaty. Even walking out to the MRT or to the car can make me sooooo sweaty. I feel that the weather around me is ok, except there seems to be a humid wave around me.....

I look around at the people but they are still wearing long sleeved, shirts, long pants, and they dun seem to sweat at all or have any indication that they are hot.

Am I abnormal? Do my readers here feel the same way about the weather (Of cos not feel the same way thinking I am abnormal)?

Or is it because I am taking ginseng strips almost everyday - you know the type from the medical hall where they slice the ginseng into small small strips then we can chew on?

My colleague told me to relax and cool down so that I will not feel so hot.... but how to cool down when I am so frustrated with the heat?

But today I was happy. I went shopping!!!! Pay is not out yet, but yesterday I got a new student so I got a bit of cash to spare..... then I spent it ALL...... $120 dollars on clothes..... Hahahahahahah....... So Ah ber is happy......

Rants + ah ber is sick...

Ah ber was on 1 day mc on monday. I woke up stoned cos I took a flu tablet the nite before. I wasn't feeling that sick, but physically I was very tired. My eyes were wide open, but my body jus refused to move at all.

All because of kenji lor. He passed the flu bug to me when he kissed me lor. So I had to go see doctor. And he gave me 5 types of medicine and 1 day MC. So I slept the whole day. I slept for a total of 22 hours on mon. I only woke up to cook my own porriage at 3pm and then I woke up at 9pm to watch the last episode of "Huang Jin Lu" then I KO again till the next morn.

But it was all worth it. Cos sun I went JB with kenji and TFT and I was very happy cos I managed to SHOP..... I bought 3 pairs of shoes (including my wedding shoe as well).

I think the past few days I overslept. That is why these past 2 days I have been waking up very early and taking my own sweet time in dressing up and bringing junior down for his morn walk and going to work really early.

I am waiting for 25th - payday!!! So that I can buy some more things. YEAH!!! And kenji's getting the aircon man to go down today to check out the aircon routing.... so i will have aircon soon...... YEAH....

Credit Card & Loan

I got a little pissed off with an agent from some BANK. I dun wish to mention the bank cos its not the bank's fault but its the agent who did not inform me accordingly.

Last week I got this call from this agent from XX bank, introducing me a package where there are 3 products tied together - 1 personal loan, 1 credit card, 1 funds transfer thingy. It can give me up to 4 times my salary. So I asked bout the annual fee. He said it was free (I cannot remember if he mentioned it was free only for 5 years).

So he kept rambling on the goodness of the product and kept harping on the repayment structure and loan calculations and interest rates and stuff like tat. I lost my cool when he asked about how long my loean tenure will be. I told him, how would I know the tenure now when I am not taking a loan and I dunno how much will be my future loans also, how to tell him to fix a tenure period? I even told him if smaller loans of cos take shorter time to pay, big loans take longer time to pay. He said he needed the info to key into the computer cos he is applying online for my application. So i jus said, put the longest tenure which is 5 years repayment period.

And he had to call me back 3 times cos I cannot decide on the loan tenure and he needed more info from me. I shot him back saying if this kind of credit (assumingly fast credit) thing need to take so long and so many details need to be filled in, then I wun sign up cos its so troublesome. He kept trying to tell me interest rates and loan calculation and repayment rates and everything. I had no time for him seriously cos every call took an average of 15mins.....

So finally i jus told him, put the longest tenure and he did and finalised the whole thing.

Then today I called the XX bank cos I wan to confirm if the annual fee for the credit card was waived. Cos no point paying annual fee for the damn card when you dun use it at all rite? Yup, it was waived for 5 years and to my horror and shock, I realised that wat I signed up was actually A LOAN that is 2 times my salary.

I nearly screamed at the agent but luckily I didnt cos she wasn't the one who created this mess. I immediately cancelled the whole thing cos I didnt know that the things I signed up for, were actually a loan and not the credit and cashline type of things. She told me that once the loan is approved they will send me part of the money. I screamed at her asking her when did I ever say I was taking a loan?

I really dun understand. Why would this bank call people up and offer them a loan when they dun need it? I am angry cos I wasn't properly informed and I am going to shoot a letter in to complain about how they go about doing their business. Jus imagine if I didnt call up and the loan was processed, won't I be incurring interest charges FOR NOTHING? Cos I dun need a loan!!! Why should i pay them interest rates for giving me something that I dun need? Angry rite?

And another best thing - that agent didnt inform me that after the 5th year, the annual fee for the credit card would be charged to my card without informing me. And mind you, the damn annual fee is $180 for that lousy card. I rather go to other banks for credit cards cos at least there are some perks coming along with it.

Gown fitting

Yesterday I went for my gown fitting with Ms Lena Tan and Mummy Rina. Heehee. So I am not alone. Amazingly both of them specially made time for me to go down with me and give me their views. Luckily both of them came along. Or else I will never be able to pick any gowns on my own.

Both of them commented that I look like an auntie cos I tied my hair up and bun it up with netting. Hahahahahahaa..... Bad hair day ma. The hair dun listen to me so I had to tie them up - that's the only way I can control them.

But within the hour, I transformed from auntie into princess, then queen. Hahahaha..... at least I have the height, I have the boobs, I have the nice skin colour, I have the best opinions from my 2 advisers, Hahahahahah......

I really didnt know wat I wanted. So I tried on at least 20 gowns within that 2+ hours. Finally at 9pm sharp, my brain started to work and I already shortlisted a few of them. So now is only to await kenji to go down and take a look and do the final confirmation.

A few major things already settled, so my heart and brain are more at ease. Even the photo shooting date also brought forward from march to 24february sunday. YEAH. No more sentosa, no more tuas - I going to some secret location for my photoshooting. Interested to come along? I scared more people go I will be shy and nervous leh.... hahahahahaha......

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO looking forward to my photo shooting...... cos its taking photos of ME and my 2 darlings...... YEAH....... But I will need a nanny to go along to take care of my son. Who wan to volunteer? Nanny rina? Godma Lena? My son has someone that he would like to invite too.... check out his blog..... http://www.dinojuniorboy.blogspot.com/.....

And for my wedding.... really no kidding about free flow drinks.....

SO..... drink to your heart's contents...... and I already booked a few hotel rooms already....... in case anyone gets drunk. Hahahahahaha...

Bitches

Today I got shouted at by client's HR manager. Wat to do? I already said I was the middleman and my ranking is below her and also not even her staff, of cos I get the shit from her la. Wat to do?

She likes to stress people with her words, likes to think in the wrong way when you are trying to put across a positive and nice message across to her, and she dun bother to be nice when it comes to demanding things to be done HER WAY. She stressed to me that she is the CLIENT and ask me to stop chasing her for the documents (which by rite, should be sent to me at the beginning of the month) and said that since she is the client, she has every rite to give me the documents whenever she wanted. Ok. FIne. So I adviced her that my finance side is asking for the documents and if they dun have it, they cannot proceed for the OT pay for the 200+ staff here for jan payroll.

SHE ACTUALLY DARED ME. She challenged me to do that. And she said that if I try to do that, she will have her management think of alternatives and so she asked me to try to do tat in a challenging tone. Well. I jus told her I will revert to my finance.

Anyway my people will be here for a meeting today and everything is like soooooo crucial lor.

I dun pity her if she is stressed, cos she dunno how to handle it and divert her stress to others. I dun admire her in her current position cos she has no HR background and I assume that I know more than her (Haha). So to me, she is actually nothing. And I dun wish to end up like her. So now I'm trying to learn as much as I can and I wun let her get to me.

Went to see kenji at his place for lunch. He's down with flu and sore throat.

Dunno tonite he's going with me or not for gown fitting..... if he's not available, then i go myself lor. Haha....

Rants rants and rants, BUT ITS GOOD RANTS...

Oh God. I have been sitting here at my lappy for the past half an hour and YES 93.3 is playing OLD OLD OLD OLD OLD songs for the past half and hour. Oh Shit. I feel myself going down memory lane.

But this time I smiled. Because I recalled the times when kenji came over at bradel when I was staying there. And I recalled the times we shared talking over the phone for hours and our happy times. I also recalled the time when I 1st saw junior. I was so happy and careful with my baby boy.

Now, I'm getting married to this guy who spent a fortune going after me, who went after me despite objections and rumours about me, who stood by me in one of the toughest period of my life, who supported and lifted me up when I was weak, who caught me when I was falling, who comforted and loved me for who I am and is going to give his life to me (I am not very sure if he knows he's digging his own grave by marrying me) and marry me.

And I smiled as I remember my closest friends who have been by my side and given me and him lots of help and advice and guidiance and pure true love and experienced my pain and shared my joy (Its the same as cry and laugh together with me)....

I want to thank my closest friends Lena, Kerin, Wendy who sort of "grew up" with me in this relationship with that dino Senior and I wan to thank Rina and family who really treated me and loved me even more than their own family and for always watching out for me and taking good care of me and enduring my nonsense and tempers. And I wan to thank TFT for always being there for kenji and supporting him in his decisions and for accepting me into TFT as a TIGRESS (hahahaha).

And I wan to thank dino senior for sticking with me thru thick and thin and never giving up on me and never doubting me and giving me love that I have never experienced.

Last but not least. To my baby boy Junior. I love you and I am proud to be your mummy. :)

Ah ber is in a good mood today. I am soooooo excited that I am starting to pack my things and decide which ones are going to move 1st into our new house. Hahahahaha.

I have been on a chocolate diet for 3 days already and the effects are really showing. At least my mood is SUPER high..... ahhahahahaha.

Mon I had chocolate for breakfast, tue I had chocolate for lunch and wed I had chocolate for breakfast...... hmmmm, tomorrow's choclate will be which meal? Hahahahah..... at least the chocolate has squashed my PMS for the moment.

Yesterday spent a wonderful evening with kenji by accompanying him to Dong Bar's anniversary. Drank 1 quarter of vodka by myself and had my 1st glass of chivas with water..... tasted not too bad..... but I still prefer my vodka.... and I LOVE BACARDI BREEZERS now.... grapefruit and tropical flavours are really COOL..... they taste SEDAP!!!! But I hate Bacardi. I hate JD, I hate johnny walker, I hate bourbon. Cos these things dun agree with my tummy. But luckily I didnt puke my guts out. Cos ah ber GOT STANDARD one ok...... but pls dun target me on my wedding day..... thank you very much.... or else you BETTER WATCH OUT..... seriously no joke.... ah ber really got standard one.... ahhahahaahahahahahaha. (dun try la... pls)

Even alex and jerry also very very happy..... bully a gal still so happy.... but that gal deserve it. Even I also cannot take it lying down, jus wished to keep knocking her glass till she drop drunk on the floor. Bo standard still wan to act like got standard.

Ah ber's shoulder is very painful. Cos every wed go back to HQ and need to bring my company lappy with me..... and take MRT cos I dun drive to shenton way.... so my shoulder is always aching on wed and thu.... bo bian. BUt I enjoyed going back and having lunch with my "sisters" - Serena & titus... :)

What my name says about me.

What Belinda Yang Shun Hua Means

You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Low spirits

At least I experience a bit of humanity today. Early in the morn I dunno how I became entangled in HR and financial issues from months back, even before I joined the company. And I had to be the "middleman" relaying the message back to my company. But that was supposed to be my job. So I had to do my job lor.

And my job involves being the middleman and I have to be nice to my client side, no matter how demanding they are, and need to put it into nice nice words to my finance.

And I have a good boss who even called me to ask if everything was ok and assured me that they will settle the issue directly with the HR people here. And I also received a call from my head of finance to ask me the situation there. I feel so assured and secured. That is how I feel humanity. At least people bothered about my feelings, bothered about me!!!

I spent a restless nite and I started out my day with low spirits and the skies hovering above me became greyer when the HR manager came to me and demanded things. But I see the clouds clearing when my boss and my finance manager called me. After all its not easy being so far away on my own from the people in my company. As an on-site HR consultant, I have to be independent, I need to learn to fend for myself, even if support is only 1 phone-call away, but it feels so far sometimes.

I seriously feel like getting a gun and shooting someone in the head and shooting that someone all over his body, making sure that his every organ has a bullet hole in it. Call me evil. If he met me 10 years back, I would have killed him already, so thank God I only met him now, at least I have mellowed my temper.

Well, wat's past, is past. Jus need to blame my own misfortune and now need to pick myself up and move on for a better future, better tomorrow.

I have more important things to focus on now than that bastard.

Stress BIG TIME

Already I am soooooooo stressed with soooooo many things that seemed to be sooooooooo rushing, something added on to my stress BIG TIME.

I am very pissed off, I am very angry, I feel like I am being wronged, I feel so frustrated, I am dying to KILL someone, I nearly wanted to kill myself as I am on fire, and I can almost smell the singed hair and burnt skin from the volcano threatening to erupt from the top of my head.

Never mind. Because I have many things to do this year, Because watever actions I take, I need to be responsible for everyone else that is my family now, Because I dun wan more trouble, Because everyone is rite and I am wrong.

I jus swallow everything down. I am so unwilling to lower my pride, so unwilling to give in, so unwilling to admit to something that I feel so wronged about. But that is life. AND FUCK YOU!!!!

I have many more vulgarities to shout out from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my lungs and throat. But for the sake of younger readers, I shall not do it here.

But I really feel so wronged, so wronged, so wronged and soooooooooooo wronged......

Nvm, I will pick myself up soon.

Thanks darling for your advice today. Luv you.

Maybe I was really in the wrong...... Maybe its me. Maybe I shouldnt have done wat I did. Maybe I should jus......... FUCK OFF.

Wedding + house warming list

House warming + wedding list :

1) Bring yourself.
2) Enjoy yourself.
3) Drink as much as you wan.
4) Eat as much as you can.
5) Relax.
6) We have Mahjong + Card games (House warming only)
7) We have TV + PS2 games for your enjoyment (House warming only)
8) We have Junior to make you smile (You can bring your furkids along if you would like to - House warming only)

That's all folks. What were you expecting? A list of appliances and items?

Haha. We dun need them cos we have everything in place already. We jus need you to be happy and enjoy yourself. That's all. So shuling, you jus choose which one you need la, but of cos if you are able to fulfil all the 8 of them, its the best for us la.....

I have been visiting a few furniture shops and ikea for dunno-how-many-times..... and there are still some coordination works to be done.

And I am doing up the schedule and things to be done list and the people who are going to help out list. So all I ask for, is your help wherever possible ok? Thanks alot in advance....

And a request to the people reading this blog here and those who are invited. Please keep the venues and dates to yourself as we are only inviting people we are close to and people we wan to share our joy with. If we missed out anyone, pls tag here or drop me an email or leave a message via friendster or SMS me.

DO NOT ANNOUNCE the venues or dates on your blogs or tagboard here cos I do not appreciate gate crashers or uninvited guests as filling up 80 tables is already a headache, and although my venue can hold up to 100 tables, but although I know these people are very excited too and I appreciate it, but we prefer to attend to people whom we invited and whom have RSVPed with us.

So if we really left out anyone, pls remind me or suggest to me cos I am really quite busy this moment and I dun mean to leave anyone out, jus tat I am really forgetful.

And I wan to thank the friends who have been really helpful in the past weeks in helping out on the stuff needed to be coordinated and the trying out of my gowns and giving me views and advice on things.

Wedding can Kill

Preparing for a wedding can kill. And I am going thru it twice in my whole life. But I am very very very very very sure this is going to be the LAST I'm ever needing to do it cos I have faith in Kenji, I have faith in myself and I have faith in my marriage this time.

I know it sounds weird for me to even say that I have faith after the shit I went thru. But one jus needs to have a bit more courage, a bit more faith, a bit more trust, a bit more hope to take that step. And most importantly, I have another hand (Kenji's) holding on to mine to walk together with me and I have lOTS of HANDS behind me supporting me (my dearest family and friends).

I hope everyone will bless us. I dun need to prove to anyone that we made it, but I jus wan to believe in him, in me and in US. Concerned (or kaypoh) friends have been asking if I was pregnant and why the rush for the wedding.

Sorry to disappoint you but its not a shotgun marriage. I am not pregnant. (Maybe kenji is pregnant la cos he seemed so excited and anxious about everything.) Those close friends who know us know that we are the "quickie" couple - we do everything fast and get it done and over with in the blinking of an eye. I seriously dun think we are rushing into things cos anyway, we still will be getting married so might as well jus get it done and over with so that we can all move in and be together as a married couple properly rite.

Its really busy running to and fro with renovation issues on the house, running around confirming the wedding dates, the wedding venues for ROM and customary dinner, the people attending, the invitation of VIPs, buying of furniture and appliances for the house, the dates of moving in and doing traditional stuff for the house.

I am stressed to almost the max. And I am snapping at people cos I am frustrated and irritated with stuff - that's why arranging a marriage can break up a couple even before they get married. Haha. But luckily the people around me are so far quite patient. But no matter how stressful, I am excited and happy to do so (with help of cos) and I am enjoying the process. Heehee.

Soon I will come up with a list of wedding and house warming ITEMS needed ok. Haha. Dun run away.....

其实我一直都对你说

Dedicated to my darling, Kenji Lim......


Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being there when I needed you the most. Thank you for being my pillar of strength and supporting me thru bad times in my life. Thank you for believing in me even when some snake tell you that I am someone with no integrity and thank you for trusting in me even when the snake said that he even crossed the bridge and asked my ex-best friend about me.


Thank you for all that you have done for me, to protect, to love, to treasure, to plan, to prepare for our future together. Thank you for accepting me as I am and thank you for being so patient with me even though I know I am not perfect and I have my flaws. And thank you for rolling your eyeballs backwards when I am blurrrrr (you look cute doing that).


Thank you darling. I jus wan to tell you that I love you and I am happy that you are Dino Senior and that we had Dino Junior together. I look forward to a great future together with you.



其实我一直想对你说 (莫文蔚)



有一些话从来没说以为不说也懂了
我们都害怕太浮夸
这世界又过于虚假

原谅我吗
你的话若我没太多惊讶
总以为激情已升华
并不是热情已蒸发

还不想当时也把经营规划它
真的爱不必刻意吧

其是我一直都想亲口对你说
你爱我也不容易吧
但是你并不问代价
抱歉我原来还没亲口感谢你
给我力量不惧怕

好听的话都听腻吧错觉你不需要它
时间匆匆就像流沙
却想着来日方长吗
"原谅我吗"当情话
没点荧棒的火花
总以为激情已升华
并不是热情已蒸发

不想把情绪放淡
那太复杂
因为爱不是表演

其实我一直都想亲口对你说
你爱我也不容易吧
但是你并不问代价
抱歉我原来还没亲口感谢你
给我力量不惧怕

我笑意里那些泪水和我的歉意
到底可不可以稍稍去弥补
种种不如你期望的所处
如果我惊觉我爱你并不够

其实我一直都想亲口对你说
你的爱就是奖励吧
生命里额外的长假
抱歉我原来还没亲口感谢你
你就是我要的回答

Announcing the GOOD NEWS

I am officially announcing the good news now.

1) Kenji Lim proposed on 21dec. And I threw him back his ring.

Why? Cos I was too shocked and I didnt know how to react. Cos he proposed in the most traditional and old-fashion way and I dun find it romantic. But thinking back on it, I find him most attractive cos he actually went to get a ring by himself and i liked this ring very much. And although he didnt say nice words and there were no flowers and he didnt go down on 1 knee and didnt even ask if I am willing to marry him, he jus slipped the ring on my finger and that's it. I was shocked out of my skin lor.

BUT. Yesterday he proposed again - he even made a flower out of wasabi and although it was a lousy move, but at least he did something to show that he wanted to marry me lor. So you better treat me well and make me happy and keep to your words!!!

2) Tomorrow is indeed a special day. Why is this sunday so special? Shuling was rite. I was waiting for sunday. Cos tomorrow, his parents and my parents are meeting up and they are proposing to my parents for their daughter's (which happens to be me) hand in marriage.

And tomorrow we are all sitting down for dinner and discussing the wedding plans. Wedding venue not confirmed yet cos we are determining the amount of tables we need - I think about 80 tables needed so I very headache as to where and how to have my wedding. Maybe I'll have void deck or community centre style ok. Hahahahaha.

And junior will be the ring bearer. Hahahahaha. I jus hope he dun run off with my ring and marry brandy with my ring.

And the wedding date will be in May, it will be on someone's birthday (but sadly, its not on my birthday). Heehee....

3) We bought a house.

A 5room in sengkang and we should be moving in soon after some renovations and delivery of furniture and packing.

So TFT pls note, mahjong sessions will be held in sengkang after we move in. Hahahahahaha....

And my sisters and close friends - you can come to my house to bitch thru the night and have pyjamas party after we move in. Hahahahahaha.....

Dun worry, Maria will be around to serve food and drinks.

4) Someone's gonna be a daddy soon.

Not Kenji Lim - its JUNIOR. He raped mouse tze my hamster and she is pregnant. Hahahahahahahah. THIS IS STRICTLY A JOKE. Hahahahaaha......

RECRUITMENT:

1) Jie mei(s) for the stopping of the groom. Kenji Lim is the groom so those who wan to take revenge on him for disturbing you, this is your chance to sabo him and make him do silly stuff.

Pls register with Ms Kerin cos she is in charge of this department - she is appointed HEAD OF JIE MEI wef today - Ms Kerin pls collect your appointment letter the next time we meet up. And Kenji Lim say he will kill you before our wedding day so that you cannot stop him.

2) Brothers & Sisters - to help us yam seng and drink with the well-wishers. This part TFT is in charge ok. Hahahahahahaha...... Kerin and Wendy and Lena I need your help too cos you all can drink better than me. Think I can rope in D and Jakes too. Hahahahaha....

3) Anyone who wan to sabo me or kenji - Pls queue up ok. Long queue ah. Take a queue number and then I will give you some chores to be busy with then you will forget about sabo-ing us ok.....

4) Everyone reading this blog - Pls indicate your attendance by replying to this message or tagboard ok. Cos I seriously dunno who wan to go and who dun wan to go (again). You know wat I mean rite? Hahahahahaha......

But this list NEEDS to go -

Lena Tan

Jeff

Joewyn x2 (sorry I forgot your dar's name)

Kerin

Wendy

Hersheys

Dawn

Jennifer

Rina

D

Jakes

Michelle

Jared

Damon

Ryan

Winnie

Michael

Mandy

There will be a vegetarian table and a muslim table - so pls dun paiseh. Jus tell me if you have muslim friends going (like SHAHLENA .....etc) :)

And who else dun mind going. Pls sign up cos my brain is filled with too many things - I will miss you out.

Saying Hi from Office

Hi Hi Everyone. Ah Ber is blogging from her OFFICE. Oooooooops. Shhhhhhhhhhh.

Ah ber worked very hard and finished handing in wat I was supposed to do. So ah ber is quite free now. I look at the stack of filing to be done and I decided to faintz straight away. Not my filing ok. Filing to be done months back but due to change of HR staff, the filing was like, never done.

So it becomes ah ber's job to file them.

Ah ber is still very new in her job but ah ber tries her best to perform her job properly. And Ah ber likes her job quite a bit. Ah ber seen a few old friends here from SATS and they talk to ah ber - ah ber is happy.

I seen my next door colleague playing msn, even though she open the window very small, but still think its msn - so ah ber also play msn - once in a while la. Most of the time also no time to breathe lor...... where got time to play msn......

I dunno why I am so happy today. Maybe cos this morn I had a very nice dream tat's why my mood is that kind of "high" mood. Hahahahaha......

PS: I missed you darling.

Humpy Dumpty had another great fall

Today ah ber became humpy dumpy again - I had another fall.

I was walking to my office in the morn when I slipped and fell. I was wearing a skirt somemore! But luckily I fell very gracefully. Grazed my left knee and sprained my muscle in my left leg. And body started to ache a bit here and there. Dun admit old also cannot liao.

Before I fell, I prepared to go home for lunch cos I needed to bring Junior for his walk So since I fell, I tot I could take the chance to go back and change my stockings cos I tore them. But I forgot to do so when I reached home!!

But I managed to get home during lunch, bring junior down for his walk and even got my favourite rojak from the rojak uncle!!! YEAH!!! That was the best part of my day.... 2nd best part of my day was, TODAY NO CLASS!!! Not I lazy ok. But my thurs are FREE!!! - actually thurs is housework day cos I do my laundry and sort out stuff and TYPE my blog on thurs and sun.

Today I saw my colleague playing MSN I think. Hmmm. Now is the challenge to download it on my computer cos my lappy is specially coded to ensure that no downloads are applicable. Anyway, I cant play MSN too, cos I am too busy. No time to go toilet or drink water also. So sad rite? And my office doesnt have a window - cannot see scenery, so sad rite?

I'll have some good news to share soon - stay tuned.....

Bye 2007, Hi 2008

1st day of the new year. Supposed to be a happy day. But I received a call from Kenji saying his aunty passed away. Quite shocked. Cos didnt expect it.

And they decided to only inform me and not others cos its the 1st day of the new year. No one should hear of unhappy news on the 1st day of the new year.

I have seen this aunty a few times during family gatherings and during new year for the past 2 years. But i will not get to see her during this new year. She reminds me alot of my ah ma cos they both have that very "ci xiang" (benevolent) look on their faces. She is of very small built, but she managed to have so many children and bring them up. Not an easy task.

Went down to the funeral and jus came back. Could tell that everyone loved her alot and everyone felt really sad cos their eyes are all red and their grief could be written on their faces. Sat's the final send-off for her. Most prob I'll skip my classes for another week.

Today I also went to visit my grandma at AMK hospital. She's recovering from her knee surgery and it looks like she'll be able to be discharged soon. Pa is also in hospital but I havent been able to find a time to go visit him yet.

2007 was a hectic year for me. But also a year where I learnt alot, grew up alot. I know 2008 would be not be any easier than 2007 but at least I am prepared to face the challenges that come to me. Because I know I will not be alone. I have my family, my friends and the people who love me to support me and be there for me when i need them. Its this same group of people who helped me thru 2007 and help me survive the bad times in 2007.

I hope 2008 will be a better year, a better beginning, a year where I can be of help to the people who once helped me, and a year where I can still depend on the people who have rendered me lots of help in the past (I very buay paiseh one). And that all the people I love and who loves me, love me even more!!!!

I know I have been busy for the past few months, and most of the people who loved me, displayed their understanding towards me by not grumbling or complaining bout my absence. And most of them still love me inspite of me being unable to be there when they need me, they still love me even though I dun have much time for them.

To these people, I say a big THANK YOU to you, for enduring my nonsense for 2007, and still loving me in 2008. :) And to the little percentage of people who decided to replace me with others cos they dun have tolerance for my nonsense, I jus wan you to know that I am always replaceable, any others can be better than me. But I am jus ME. If I cannot be tolerated, its ok to replace me with your other friends. And, It is not my loss. Its your loss..... cos I wun wan people around me who dun love me as I am. So I wun lose anything, but you will lose someone who genuinely loves you - that is ahem ahem..... ME.

2008 - a new year, a new beginning for me too.