Ah Ber is strong

Today I almost cried at work. Tears were welling up in my eyes and I was trying hard to control them. Used tissue a few times to dab my eyes silently luckily it was after office hours and not many people were in the office.

Today I started my day with a heavy heart cos yesterday my boss told me she's taking away one of my projects, in fact the 1st project I worked on when I joined the team. She's giving it to another new colleague. Actually I dun mind this but just within a day, my baby was gone. The things I have built up, the relationships I had with my candidates, everything I hands on with this project, was gone.

And the cruel truth was I had to train my new colleague and go thru with her everything I had learnt from scratch, everything I knew and transfer it to her. I know the supervisor there must be smiling cos she doesn't like me cos I am not obedient and I always fight for my staff's rights and that pisses her off.

I had to rush down to be a receptionist as I had 2 gals down. The supervisor was not very happy about me unable to get a replacement - she was just not happy about me la. Well. So my boss ask me to go down to be receptionist which I will obey. I just sat there feeling rotten cos if I had a choice I wouldn't wan to be there sitting next to the supervisor, next to someone who dun like me.

So I became a receptionist for a while. Then my boss brought my colleague down to undergo training there. I gladly showed her the ropes and reminded her on things that I experienced. With my sincere heart! Cos the 1 hour I spent there as a receptionist made me think clearly. If my team flourish, I will flourish too. I shouldn't take it to heart about such things, even though it is going to affect my gross profit and my commission. I know I have not trained myself to be so selfish yet.

I also had another revelation. I am going to further my studies next year and come back in a higher position and STEP on that bloody black bitch who is the supervisor. I cannot stand her as she is a fake, pretensious, sneaky, cunning, authoritative, BLOODY BITCH. She poach my gals whom I placed there as receptionist and ask them not to go thru me and offer them higher salary if they work for her as receptionist. Wat kind of christian is this? Luckily my relationship with my gals are quite ok. She also questioned someone about sending Halloween biscuits and say that christians should not celebrate halloween BUT SHE WILL EAT THE BISCUITS anyway. Bloody bitch.

Anyway I didnt almost cry over this issue.

My boss wanted me to take on another portfolio. No guidance, no coaching, just ask me jump into it like tat. Well Well Well. Then when I make mistakes she was very fierce to me.

But I take it as she was teaching me la. But I am not happy about the way she teach me. Why cannot teach or tell me nicely must be so fierce? I dun like fierce people cos I think they bully. She can even ask me if I "fu qi bu fu qi" (contented or not) about her scolding me. Well Well Well wat can I say?

And now that I have taken another portfolio (got choice meh?) I am going to get busier and I think my baby plans have to shift to next year or else I will risk a miscarriage like some of them do here.

After everything, she was nice to me again talking about holidays, trips and casual things. I know she dun really mean to be fierce, maybe she jus wan to see me cry or see me intimidated or scared. Of cos I will be scared la. But I wun give up so easily. I am Ah Ber. And Ah Ber is strong. I know I can do better and I know things will only improve. But I need to go to the temple QUICK cos things are getting really bad cos the whole team also not doing very well.

Well Well Well. Too bad la. Tomorrow is another day and I jus count my days and live them to the fullest.

I know kenji was very worried when he called and realised that 9plus I was still in the office. In fact when I stepped into the house almost 11pm he asked if I was ok cos I think my face must be really BLACK. Hahahahaha. I'm ok darling..... Luv you.

Holiday weekend

Spent a good deepavali holiday over the long weekend.

Sat was spent doing housework and slacking at home on the couch. Sunday Morning Kenji had a sudden urge to have curry rice at Jalan Besar so we brought the kids and ourselves to Jalan Besar for brunch.

After our romantic brunch we went to pet mart to swim. But Junior got attacked by big dogs who tot he was a rat. The big dogs just followed me everywhere and whenever I tried to put junior down they tried to pounce on him and junior tried to show teeth but he had only 1 set while the rest had many sets. So he ran for his dear life.

Mummy had to save him but too late - a big dog snapped him on his neck but luckily his skin and coat is thick. Only saliva and spit left on his neck. Daddy was so terrified that he held terror so tightly.

We decided to go to pet movers cos it's more friendly there. Junior played with the smaller dogs there and he was really happy. But he cant seem to forget coco cos he kept stalking a JRT.

As for Terror, the moment I put her down, she shrieked in terror and desperately ran for shelter and yelped for mummy to carry her. Think she is tramatised by the sunday outing. She refused to go down from my lap and mingle with the other dogs.

After Pet movers, brought junior to visit deedee toto and rusty. Dawn decided to adopt terror cos she is so damn cute!!! Hahaha.... Spent some time with them and then mummy brought junior and terror to botanical gardens for an evening picnic.

Junior barked at ALL dogs that he saw but he liked a MALE poodle. Stupid boy.

After the picnic mummy rushed home to settle them to sleep and go out with daddy to play mahjong and have dinner at Amoy street. I was amazed at the mahjong session cos Ah ber was really fantastic. The luck quite very good!!!!

Monday was spent at home slacking till we went for dinner at spring court at chinatown and went shopping there.....

Today the day was quite ok. Except certain things not very good but on the whole, it is quite good la..... :) Now waiting for yoga class...... Namaste.

Sunday day out with deedee rusty junior & terror.... 191008

Kuishinbo 191008

Here are the pictures that I owe Vicky...

The pictures were taken last sunday when we went to Kuishinbo to celebrate Jerry's birthday. In this post you can see the paternity love flowing out from Jerry. He surely has his way with kids and GIRLS OUT THERE - For a guy who likes kids and is jovial and adorable and gentleman and mature and will treatly you with lots of love, please let me know if you would like to know more about Jerry. :) No charge - I will charge Jerry.....

Actually Kenji also has fatherly figure hor....

Lao Gong & Lao Po

4 furkids brought me out

On sunday, 4 furkids brought me out. Junior suggested that we go to Pet Movers cos he wan to go see pretty mei meis there. Terror was excited too cos she wanted to go trim her nails at Pet Movers as well. Junior tot that since their nails needed trimming, maybe rusty and deedee and toto's nails needed trimming too cos they all cut it at the same time a few weeks ago.

So they pestered mummy (which happens to be me) to bring them to pet movers on the sunday afternoon. Godma (which happens to be me AGAIN) had to wrestle with rusty cos he was too excited to go out when he saw the leash being taken out. Deedee almost fainted from excitement when she heard her leash with the bell. Toto cried and whined cos he was already feeling car sick so Godma decided Toto should stay at home cos Godma alone cannot handle everyone.

So off we went to Pet Movers to get Rusty, Deedee, Junior and Terror's nails cut. After Pet movers, the kids decided to walk around at the Megastore cos they smell food there. Rusty and deedee were sooooooo well-behaved that 2 people commented that they were very very very kuai and good kids!!! But no one commented that junior and terror were good kids :(((((

As time was not on my side cos I only had 1.5hours to shop and cut nails and send them back to punggol, I had to rush back cos needed to visit my aunty at hospital. Brought toto downstairs for a short walk cos he didnt manage to go pet movers and still wondering how to get his nails cut.....

Then after visiting my aunty at hospital and even had my bath at the hospital (shhhhhhhhh). My aunty staying in A1 got private toilet ma. So I brought my clothes and bathed there lor.

I went to suntec for dinner with the TFT to celebrate Jerry's birthday. Jerry was in a happy mood cos he had a kid to play with. Vicky brought her boy boy and I ended up being Gan Ma (also known as Godma - heehee). Isaiah is only 2.5 years old but he can call me soooooooooooo sweetly Gaaaaaaaaaaan Maaaaaaaaaaa. Can melt leh....

Being a Gan Ma is not easy ok, need to feed him dinner, play with him, entertain him and he is very very very very clever ok. He is definately cleverer than me cos I kena con by him a few times like opening my mouth to feed me sushi. Ok, you may think why I still complain when I got sushi to eat. He eats the egg on top and feed me ALL the plain rice!!!! So I say, YOU WIN!!!

Met Mike for the 2nd time but didnt talk with him cos busy entertaining the kid..... sorry ah angie......next round we tok tok tok tok tok ok hahahahahahaa....

Planning to go for a short trip to dunno where yet. Need to have a break....

Tomorrow is yoga day!!!! YEAH!!!!

I am sorry

It has been a weekly routine for the past couple of months where I will wash the punggol kitchen on every saturday by myself. I will put the dogs in the living room, splash water with floor cleaner and scrub the kitchen floors. Because during the week due to a tight schedule I dun really pay attention to the floors. I only feed and clear the newspapers and maybe mop once or twice.

So saturdays are the days when I have a bit more time on my hands to scrub the kitchen. These 2 weeks has been a tiring and trying week as I have been feeding and cleaning up after them by myself except only on monday when I had help.

I am not inhumane. Even though wed I had yoga class till past midnite I still went to feed them. I am sorry cos I have not been feeding them on a regular basis and they might be thinner than they were before but I really tried as much as I could handle. I dun know wat to say except sorry cos I know I didnt do my best for them.

I am really glad that the daddy and mummy are coming home soon cos at least they have someone to take care of them properly again.

I am having backaches again the disc must have slipped again. But I believe yoga will help me. Maybe I should stop mopping and see if wat happens.

My 2nd aunt needs to continue her stay in the hospital due to her heart.

Although sometimes she is very stingy and sometimes I dun like the way she do things, but whenever I heard she is admitted to hospital, my heart always skip a beat. I dun like to go hospitals, I hate it everytime I have to go, but I always think how scared, nervous, worried, lonely the person hospitalized is.

No matter how much I dun like someone I realise, actually I still like them and when they get into trouble or anything, I will be there. Just like my aunt, she is the one I always oppose and the one whom I always talk back to because I dun agree with her most of the time. But now when I heard she is hospitalised, I felt nervous, I felt worried because she is my family member and I do not wish for anything to happen to her because I care about her.

Will be going down later to visit her at the hospital.

Letting go

Last time I realised I didnt let go when memories still flood my brain and emotions still flood my heart. I let myself think, I let myself immerse in the overwhelming emotions in my heart. In other words, I let my mind and my heart control myself.

I smiled when I tot of beautiful memories. My heart ached when I tot of the sad memories. My emotions went on roller coaster ride because I am not able to control them. Then I tried to stop thinking. But when the tots came and the feelings came, they all came together in a big bang cos they were suppressed and they all attacked me together. When i am hit by them I cannot breathe. I am helpless. This feeling became my best friend. I became so used to this feeling that I yearned for the feeling. i actually yearned for this heart-wrenching, racked with pain, sadness and desperation, a feeling for need, a feeling to be wanted, a feeling of lost.....

I never knew wat was happiness because I was too focused, too deeply rooted, too familiar, too used with the sadistic feeling. I just wanted to feel pain. Because I was hurting so much. I wanted more hurt so that people will start to empathise with me, they will start to notice me, pay attention to me, sayang me......

But I will not gain respect or love from them. Because they are just pitying me.

Meanwhile the world still turns and the clock still runs. I knew I had to let go. But it took soooooooooo damn long. It didnt take me 5mins nor 5hours nor 5years. But I am free now. Because most importantly I did not lose myself. I can lose everything. I can lose love. But I cannot lose myself. Because if I lose even myself, no hope liao, gone case liao.

I no longer bask myself in the familiar feeling. When tots come, I will smile because I used to have love by my side. When tots come, I will smile because I know I have let go and I will smile because I know I am happy and I am able to face things that come into my path. When th unhappy tots come, i will smile because I tell myself its all over now and they can no longer hurt me.

Smiling is better than crying. Cos tears will blur your vision. Smiles can light up your life. Try it. Go smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are good, you are beautiful, you can do it, You are You, And I LOVE YOU.

Trust me your day will be better from this day onwards.

Ok. ah ber is really really really really tired cos I am blabbering nonsense already. Cant be helped cos ah ber in writing mode today and cannot stop leh..... but i enjoy writing these things cos I feel PMS has lifted away from me!!!!! Thank you for my period today.....

Good Nite, Wan An.

Naming the poem contest

If you want to hurt me
Make sure you cut it through the vein
Let the blood run free
Because I will feel no pain

It took me a long time to heal
And i always wonder why
It took me a long time to feel
As I look up into the sky

Because I never let you go
It was me holding on
Because you would never let me know
How you cheat and con

I told my heart
I do not love you
Each time memories tear it apart
I realised our time's due

I lost you by my side
I knew I can no longer hold
Part of me died
Part of me grew cold

But I moved on with my life
Because you were no longer mine
Even though initally things took a nose dive
My happines I started to find

I am past the time I rush to care
I have other priorities set
Come and test me, you I dare
My happiness, my life, my future, met

Ber 171008

Ok this doesn;t really make sense but given the stress and the the fatigue and the sleepiness weighing on my eyelids, I think its fairly good. I just suddenly would like to write a poem and I cracked this out within 10mins so i think I am quite good already.

Naming the poem contest - who can give a good name to this poem wins a dinner from me.

Blabbering nonsense

Been very tired these past 2 weeks. Realised that to be kind to others is to be cruel to yourself. Today I went back to office finally after 2 weeks and joined the rest in team building activity tht started from 6pm to 9plus. My colleagues all find me very alien cos they have not seen me in weeks and I am really outdated with wat's going on in the office. But I really enjoyed myself cos I like these activities that are fun and I love to participate in these things.

And it was really worth it cos our team won 1 contest which has a payout of $500/- and I am getting a share of $50!!!!! Yeah!!!!!! We won the award to be the most united team!!!!! Yeah Team 1!!!!! Feeling so happy cos got to have fun and they have buffet dinner too!!!!!

I signed up for the yoga class on Wednesdays at bradel so every wed I have excuse to leave office early!!!!! ;) Every wed i going to swim, Yoga and eat and sleep. hahahaha.

Had lots of talks with kenji the past week discussing about things. Glad to know he is seeing things my way and standing on my end.

Looking forward to my long and far overseas trip this december but not very glad that its gonna be during christmas time. I made kenji promise to buy me turkey, shephard's pie and christmas dinner there. He needs to have christmas tree, wine, christmas present (but not from china one ok) for me too.

This is the 1st year I am not celebrating christmas with my family at bradel. Feels so weird. Feel got no christmas spirit. But I am still going xiamen cos its so cool to go with my hubby ok. I am looking forward to it in fact!!!!

Had a misunderstanding with Rina last week but glad it is ok now. Mum I am not angry with you. And I love you very much. And I am not drunk when I am typing this!!!! :)

Been stressed over work but when was I NEVER stressed?? Hahahaha.

Some people say that friends tell you what you NEED to hear and those who are not really your friends tell you wat you LIKE to hear. Not true la. I have a friend who scolds me, who criticise me, who tells me wat I should do - all supposingly for my own good. And in the end I decided I dun wan to see her again. Cos I believe in my own life. My life not the same like yours doesn't mean its not good. It could be better cos you do not how to enjoy life given the way your life is.

She has 2 kids and she expects that I should have kids and blah blah blah blah - she said that when I bought terror means I not going to have kids and blah blah blah blah. Who the fuck she is to criticise me? I love dogs but doesn't mean I dun love kids. I wan to strangle my godson sometimes but doesn't mean I dun love him and doens't mean I wun consider having kids. She really pissed me off with this sentence and thanks to this sentence I told myself I am not going to meet up with her in the next 2 months and I just called off the dinner this week cos I cannot be bothered to meet up with her. Why should i subject myself to torture and cringe everytime I am suppose to meet up with her?

On the pretext that she cares and concern about me, she will wan to meet for dinner. Actual fact everytime we meet she is the one who talk most. She will grumble about her husband, grumble bout her mother-in-law, grumble when we tell her things (like the case about terror). She like to boast about her kids, boast about how much the hubby loves her by giving her money and buying her things and boast about her successful weight lost and good facial recommendations. All cos she wan to hear us praise her for good skin and say we envy her.

And I dunno how my other friend can bother to entertain her. She jus kaypo about my life to see if my life is better than hers? Or she just flaunt her LVs in front of me. I was seriously so tempted to buy myself an LV cos I wan to shut her up. But then I decided NOT to buy LV. And if she's gonna ask me again why I didnt buy the LV I said I wanted to buy..... I jus gonna answer her that why I need to spend this bloody amount for 1 stupid bag when I can buy 10 bags with the same amount of money and keep changing my bags each time? If I dun have money, I will buy lesser bags and save part of the money. But If i no money can I eat the LV? She say can re-sell cos got value.

I certainly dun wan to go to that stage when I am forced to sell my LV to feed myself. So wat type of status LV will bring you? Will it bring you money? Nope. Will it bring you love? Nope. Will it bring you hope? Nope. Will it bring you bread? Maybe lor.

I am not against people who buy LV. I think LV brand is very nice, prestigious and high-class. But cos she is holding on to LV that spoilt the brand. She thinks having LV she is high-class. I tell you bitch, if your attitude can win people over, that is high-class. You are low class without good attitude. You dun even know how to treat your friends properly. Wat fuckin class do you have?

I do not respect people who treat friends lousy. Cos your friends are the people in your life, the people you turn to when you need help, the people who are nice to you, the people who love you. So I do not respect people who do not know how to treat friends properly. If you do not know how to love your friends, then you do not know love at all.

And I hate selfish people who only think about themselves and everything about themselves. if you are so great, why are you here? Go mix with the stars la. Even stars get criticised when they start getting a bad attitude. So attitude is very important in our lives. A good attitude can bring you very far in your life and your attitude is the key to survival, the key to a good life.

Ok, I am very shag today that is why I am blabbering nonsense.

I read kerin's blog and she mentioned her grandma in hospital. Hope grandma get well soon. Hope my aunty get well soon too cos she is in hospital today too.

Good nite.

Next post shall be a poem....

De-stress

Today has been a frustrating day for me.

Early in the morning people fly my kite. Then I meet people with water in their brains who are stupid to the max. Then I meet rude people who portray bastardy behaviour jus cos they are MEN they can speak louder and think the gals get scared. I am not scared, I am just disgusted at your behaviour. I think you will cry if i put you 1 day in receptionist position.

Really so damn pissed off today but stupid and rude people. And I am stuck elsewhere and I have to face my mountain of work when I go back dunno when. This week is madness for me cos Wed and fri have activities at work and thursday I have my own activity and i dun have time to do my work properly and I DUN HAVE TIME TO myself.

Thank God Deepavali is coming and I am so looking forward to the public holiday. On a happier note, I found out that 10 of the public holidays in singapore next year will fall on LONG weekends!!!! Only 1 or 2 is mid-week.

So people, start planning now on your holidays for 2009!!!

Later I am going to de-stresss cos today has been a stressful day. I am going to swim properly, have sauna and do a bit of yoga at the club. Cool rite? I am going to enjoy and destress myself later so that tmr I can face more challenges.

Yeah!!!!

Bad mood this morning

Today I am not in a good mood.

My recept informed me 1 hour before she was due to report for work that she is very tired and dun wish to come in the morning. Wa, make my blood boil cos how to find a replacement in 1 hour time? Luckily I have standbys on hand and 1 of them is able to make it, not before I gave her a piece of my mind.

And I have to do recept duties today too cos another recept who promised to come back to work today suddenly cannot make it on sat and how can I find a replacement on SAT????? I am very tired with this game of hide and seek.

I have mountain loads of work in the office and I have to pay back watever I have not contributed to the company as a recruitment consultant while I am doing my recept duties. I am very stressed. I need a long long long break from work.

I seriously need to consider flexi working hours and working environment. I do not want to toil away in the sun and sometimes rain while teaching swimming. I love my job as a recruitment consultant but the work load is killing me. I need to do something that I enjoy yet it will not kill me and can give me loads of money. Hahahaha. Do not ask me to be a housewife or tai tai unless my hubby gives me loads of spending money per month. I think I wan to be 2nd junior cos he is the most fortunate dog that I know of so far. Hahahahah - HAO LIAN.....

I came across 2 people with water in their brains whose actions piss the shit out of me this morning. They speak perfect english but they cannot understand simple instructions and mumble their replies when they ask me something. They seem to NOT know how to handle situations and jus push everything back to me. I seriously suspect they have water in the brain. Could it be the result of too much studies?

I dunno why but today everyone seem to get on my nerve. I am seriously stressed and depressed this morning. Hope the day gets better.

Sun-filled sunday!!!

Had dinner with the TFT today at Jalan Besar. Just last sun I went there with my family but cos the food is good thats why I went there again. My family's not in town except my mum cos they went travelling to Sri Lanka. Sent them to the airport last nite around 9plus.

After dinner today wanted to play mahjong but no mahjong today cos we gals chose to talk and interact with each other. Had a nice talk with the TFT gals and realise that I know them better now.

Junior and Terror are excited tomorrow! Cos they are going to the market together for the 1st time. Tomorrow Mummy (which is ME), is bringing them to the market where they can witness me buying them their favourite LAMB.

Nanny's coming along too and I am going to cook lunch for the whole family at bradel and also my whole family at sengkang. :) It shall be western food ok..... Nuggets, Sausages, Fries for the kids? For the adults, hmmmm, still not too sure what to cook. maybe they'll just eat the same la. Pa will be very happy. Hahahhahaa.

After lunch we'll be going to Pet Movers cos Daddy wan to do shopping for the kids. Yeah!!!! Its family day and maybe we'll bring my 3 babies - erm on 2nd tots, Jared has exam soon so maybe not going...... hmmmm see how....

Ok better go and sleep cos now 3am already and need to wake up 7am tmr!!!

Good nite!!

Fishmonger - SeLL FiSH

This afternoon I received a SMS from someone that jolted me out of my sleepy afternoon mood. Soneone who wanted to kill herself. I wanted to write something philosophical and was thinking about it on the way home in the train.

Then later in the night I saw another SMS with more cuts.

10 years back I had a friend who did that to herself. She cut herself, fine lines on her wrist - she bled on her wrist, I bled in my heart. The plaster on her cuts never seem to cover the wounds in my heart. She cried over someone that was breaking her heart, I cried over the cuts that I saw.

I dun understand till this day why would people wan to commit suicide, or rather, mutilate themselves. I read articles that say internally they hurt so much that they cut themselves up so that they focus on the hurt externally and internally they wun hurt so much. Wat rubbish. If really internally you hurt so much that you cannot live anymore then go and die.

How many people suffering from pain from cancer, from sickness, from poverty, from diseases unimaginable that they really wished to die because they cannot take the pain anymore. That is why God invented Euthanasia - Mercy Killing by injection of lethal drugs that make you die. You can even choose the day the date the time you wan to die, and in the comfort of your own surroundings surrounded by the people you love and the people who love you. Its a dignified way of dying.

I dun think it looks dignified the way you cut yourself or do things to your body just because of a broken heart, or just because you feel like it, or just because everyone else is doing it. You are responsible for your own body and watever you do, you yourself have to answer to your body.

If someone choose to drink till their liver hardens, or smoke till their lungs turn black - let them do it, cos its their body. But of cos it becomes my business when the smoke is affecting and killing me too. And if the person's drinking and smoking and killing themselves result in being a burden to me, then they are being selfish because they simply think its their body and their life - of cos if they die, its good. But if they dun die or die halfway (stroke or paralysed or coma etc), who becomes their caregiver? Isn't it selfish of the people who do things thinking it wun affect other people but in actual fact they do!!!

And I am a very transparent person. So I expect transparency in return from the people around me. Its ok if people around me, my friends and family refuse to tell me things or keep things from me or lie or hide the truth from me. As long as I am kept in the dark, as long as I do not find out, as long as I do not know - its ok to me. But once I find out, I will get mad.

If anyone of you decided you have lived enough or do not wan to continue with your lives, please take your neccessary actions - make sure you get it done properly so that I will not be bugged with suicides SMS anymore. BUT before you action, think about it. Think about the family and friends that you love and who love you. You are here on earth for a purpose. You are not here just to DIE - you will definately burn in hell if you do that. And if you choose burning in hell, if you choose slicing yourself, if you choose killing and mutilating the BODY that your parents gave you, if you dun treasure the body that you bath everyday, touch everyday, see everyday, then it is your choice.

I think people who give themselves cuts on themselves are cowards cos they cannot face reality. They are confused and not sure what they want. They want attention. I wun give attention to people who slice themselves anymore because it is stupidity. You cut yourself for attention? Are you a piece of ART? Wat do you gain from doing all tat?

I can empathise if you are feeling down, if you are depressed, if you cry - all these are venting outlets for your emotions. But I can not understand destroying your body as a venting outlet for your emotions.

Maybe I do not understand. Maybe I was not in your shoes. Maybe I have never been there before. Maybe I have not walked the treacherous roads that you have walked. Maybe I am more blessed. Maybe You have your point, your own views, your own thinking, your own way of doing things. Maybe cos I am not YOU. Maybe you should make me understand - CUT ME UP THEN. *faintz*

Whatever you wan to do, go ahead. since you are so selfish to only think about yourself and not bother the feelings of people who care about you, then I shall be selfish and not care too. Why should I get stressed up and worry and wonder for you, ponder for you, get upset for you, get angry? I am just going to be a fishmonger - "SeLL FiSH"

PS: I am not encouraging people to commit suicide. Doing that is BAD. I will never push someone down when they are going to jump off a building, I will never push the razor harder on the wrist to cut the artery totally. Its your life - treasure it so that you can continue further. Its your choice for a better or miserable life.

3rd post for today

This is my 3rd post for today cos i am really bored. But I seriously dun mind working here cos nothing to do compared to office where my work is sky high..... Although parking is really ex.... I parked for 3hours + last week and kena $26/-!!!!!!!!!

But at least I can google stuff, I can MSN, I can Blog...

hahhahaha. My colleague here even ask me to play games lor. I am not so bad la. I will stay off games even though I dun mind playing warcraft if there is.....

I am just so bored la. And I have to stay here till 6.30pm. Hurphhhhhh!!!

I started my day at 6plus am when I received an sms from my recept here telling me she will be on MC. Then I had no response from another recept so I rushed down pasir ris at 8am to take a look. Luckily she turned up or I'll skin them alive cos they are friends.....

Then I had to park tortilla back cos its ex to park him in raffles place.

Sianz..... There's like so many things I wan to do now!!!! Like go shopping, go to the beach, go clubbing (not really, just saying for the sake of saying), go drinking, go eating, go holiday, go sleep....etc.... SIANZ.....

I dread going back to the office cos I have not been back properly for the past 1 month - been floating around raffles place and pasir ris.... and so many updates i dunno, so many things i dunno, so many changes i dunno..... die die die die i will only die when i go back....

Today lunch due to me eating alone, I find it difficult to book place so I just ate 1 spring roll and half a bao. I ate them while walking back to the office and by the time I reached, everything's digesting and now I am hungry already...... still got 4 hours more to go!!!!!! How????

Today since its my good sister's birthday, I shall go eat with her at Kushinbo with all her kakis.... :) I am seriously counting the time..... cos I am damn hungry now.....

B.O.R.E.D.

This sunday i have to book my timeslot for my kids cos so long i didnt bring them out swimming and interacting with other kids.... junior miss coco and brandy badly. I wan to get greenies for the kids, and other mum mum for the kids too.....the 3 furkids' food is running out again... so must go get more....

I am sure there'll be a 4th B.O.R.E.D post later..... see ya later again hahahahahahaa....

KL trip

Ah ber had 2 cups of kopi already. Cos too bored. They dun have milo here. Just coffee, tea and plain water. I hate plain water.

But I am excited cos I am planning another holiday..... this time to KL. Yeah!!!! So happy!!!!!

But hor, like bringing so many lightbulbs along hor? 2 person go on a lovey dovey holiday, she invited ah ber, ah ber invited kenji, rina, ed, jakes, jared, damon, ryan...... ermmmmmm. A bit too much hor? NVM.... I promise you I will not disturb you. The most I will book genting hotel ok.... hahahahahahaha......

But my son and daughter have to go hotel cos no one will look after them.... Sianz. Daddy jus said the kids will be so sad. Cant sleep, Cant eat cos didnt see daddy who will rub their tummies, kiss them, entertain them and spoil them rotten. Daddy called them his spoilt brats.

hahahhahaa..... Can anyone responsible help to take care of my spoilt brats for 3 days 3 nights? Jus need to bring junior to the grass to pee and shit twice a day - he can also pee everywhere in the house as long as there's a pillar and he can shit anywhere in the house where its open space (eg, near windows, in the kitchen...etc). Terror just needs to be fed twice a day with milk and biscuits and someone to clean her pee and poo twice daily after her meals. So troublesome hor?

Help me..... I am B.O.R.E.D almost to death already here....

Ah ber is bored - I am always bored

Ah ber is bored.

Saturday was a wonderful day cos we (Rina, Jakes, Jared, Damon, Ryan, Kenji and myself) celebrated Lena's birthday at JB. Kenji drove tortise in and I drove tortilla in. Kenji and Lena reached Taman Sentosa 1st cos he is the God of Cars. I arrived shortly cos the food already nicely on the table and I dun need to wait- hahahahahaa....

On the way there on the expressway got accident and amazingly on a sat evening around 8pm, got no jam at the causeway. Where did all the people go? Maybe they all went in earlier in the week to celebrate raya hor....

We arrived and Jared had to scream over a cockroach. I tot he saw a rat but he was screaming and hopping and jumping over a cockroach!!!! HAhahahaha....

We met up at the hawker centre at Taman Sentosa and I had flowers from Kenji!!!!!! So sweet!!! My fav blue roses - thanks darling.

We had cereal crayfish, pork ribs cooked in guiness stout, the flattened chicken, bitter gourd seafood soup, vegetables, salted egg crabs!!!!! Yummy!!!! And not to forget my fav famous drink. Didnt take pics cos I was busy eating.... If you wan to know more, I can bring you next time.....

After eating we went to danga bay where we (the kids only - Jared, Damon, Ryan and ME) played at the stalls for prizes and i let them have 1 go at the bumper car. I wanted to go too but I was afraid my back cannot tahan.

Jakes and Lena and Kenji was drinking and watching soccer and listening to songs while we were gone.....

Ryan was soooooo sleepy so we drove back to sg......

Came sunday and the devadasons were sending Jakes off to the airport to Gold coast where he'll be having 1 month's reservist training. Went to have popeye at the airport and after sending him off, I went to my aunt's house where my 3 aunts kidnapped my 3 year old niece and brought her along to sim lim square while I bought some cables and they fussed over her like she is a baby.

Nana only came along cos she is interested to see junior and terror ok.....

We met up with Kenji and my parents at jalan Bersar to have dinner at the famous Chao Ta Bee Hoon place where Lao beng brought us before..... The food standard is still as good.... and very nice!!!! Kenji brought my kids along and nana was sooooooo fascinated lor!!!!

After dinner dunno why my mum wanted to go to the beach so we went to east coast beach walk walk. Nana walked junior the whole time and i think junior bully her cos he was leading her to go places and she cannot control him and she just followed him everywhere.....

Nana also pushed terror's pram and she was simply sooooo happy that she is willing to exchange her younger bro for Junior. My god!!!

Ok, ah ber is bored......

Good or bad friend

I dunno if i consider myself a good friend or a bad friend. Maybe I am really that bad cos I didnt even know that one of my friends is in a R/S. Maybe I am really that bad that she didnt want to let me know!!!!

Haha. Maybe I will nag alot like a NANNY and no one is as patient as my SON to listen to my naggings. :)

Hey gal, Maybe due to work, due to family, I dun always sms or call or go out with you anymore. But I seriously treasure the past times we shared together be it tears or laughter. You have grown up and should have a good life after all that you have gone thru. You are like a sister to me and I sincerely wish you all the best in your new love. Trust is very important. Although your trust has been weathered thin the last few years, its a different guy, a different start, a different story, a different ending. Everything is brand new. Give yourself more confidence and give it your best shot. Your Kakak here support you!!!!!

And to the guy who managed to weave himself into the heart of my sister:
I have never met you, spoken to you, understood you but thru my sister's eyes I can see the sparkle that was once lost. And I trust that you will take good care of her, support and honour her, be there for her and always love her - all because she trusts you and is willing to give you, give herself and give this r/s a gamble, a risk she has never tried to take in the past years, a big step out of her shell. I wish you all the best and I am really looking forward to meeting with this man who is so capable with my kakak.

And to all the singles out there who are still waiting for love:
Good luck and try looking beside or around you cos love always lukes around.

To the couples:
Give and take and be happy with each other.

To the families:
Get MAD!!!!! Play like there's no tomorrow!!!! YEAH!!

Ber has a slip disc

Ber has a slip disc. I have been having backache at least once a month for the past few months. This time was really painful till I cannot bend down. Even walking a short distance makes it ache.

So I went to the chinese sinsei.

He said my 4th and 5th disc moved. He termed it as "slip disc" in western medicine point of view.

Been undergoing massage therapy, acupuncture, "Ba Guan" daily since monday. It is improving but still sore and achy sometimes. When people are old their bones and organs and everything start to crash.

Hahahaha. But my mood is still high. Cos I am nua-ing at home.

Hahahahaha......